There is this girl that I have been talking to for a while and we like each other and I have actually come to have stronger feelings for her than I think she has for me. She told me that she is afraid of hurting me but she has never cheated on any of her boyfriends. In fact, most of them cheat on her and I get in fights with most of them. I know she has feelings for me because her friends have told me that she has told them that she likes me. I am not the best lookin' guy around but I'm definitely not ugly. She tells me that I am the sweetest person in the world and calls me her teddy bear. It hurts to talk to her because she won't go out with me but I love talking to her all the same. She is absolutely afraid of relationships. I told her that I would wait for her and I have been for 9 months and I still am. I will wait as long as I have to, but I absolutely have to be with her. I have come to love this girl, but no matter how hard I try she just won't go out with me even when she and her friends say that she is interested. It confuses me, is she just playing hard to get or is she just telling me she is interested to make me feel good about myself? Also, her boyfriends used to abuse her, could that play a factor in this situation? I am a chivalrous type of person and she knows I would never abuse her verbally or physically, and I am a very loyal lover. I am just asking for a bit of assistance, any help would be nice; thank you for taking the time to read this if you have even made it this far.
Most Helpful Girl
You don't need to tell her that you'll wait for her - that's added pressure on her. You just show her with your actions and words and make sure they match and she will know for sure. You need to do these things before you tell her you're considering a relationship with her because otherwise you'll just scare her because she hasn't seen what she's looking for, that real security to know that you're interested in what's best for her.
I don't think anyone would genuinely play hard to get for 9 months. No.
She could be telling you she's interested in you to be nice / make you feel good about yourself.
The fact that her exes abused her (exes right? not currently bfs?) plays a huge part in this situation.
Don't pressure her, that's probably what her abusive exes did. Your behavior and theirs might not seem as different in terms of that pressure.1
- Show AllShow Less