Would you be okay with this or would you forget about it?

So I have liked this guy since March this year. His ex-gf that he loved a lot broke up with him July last year. I did ask him about this girl, but he seemed like he was about to cry and asked if we could change the subject. It wasn't my place since me and him aren't dating anyway.

Moving on, there is a girl (call her Anna) that he was sleeping with since February. I had an inkling that something was going on between him and Anna, and my good friend confirmed it with me a few nights ago. She knows because he told her about it. Anna chased him from the start and he apparently didn't like her. Either way, he slept with her and then after sleeping with her he told her that he isn't looking for a relationship. She was obviously upset, as you would be but they continued this for a while, while I was off with the fairies liking him, stupid me. He told my friend that he felt like an a**hole for doing this, but he also didn't know what to do, and thought that his thought process was right at the time. Did he use her as a rebound?

Okay, so I was out at a party a two weeks ago, and he grabbed me and he implied I kiss him. I have never kissed anyone so I didn't do it. I told him this, and he said he respects me for my decisions etc. He asked me a few questions about relationships that night and I asked a few back. I asked him when was the last time he hooked up with someone and he said that something just ended recently. So obviously it was things with this girl Anna. A few days later he mentions him cooking me dinner at his. This is the stuff he did with Anna, he had her over at his and then he used her. I have met Anna, and she isn't a good girl to say the least but does he think I will sleep with him if he invites me over for dinner? (I am assuming he would understand that I have never kissed a guy, so probably a virgin too, I am)

I have been avoiding to bump into him at our normal place because I want him to chase me if he is interested. I want to see if he will text me to meet up etc. I asked my friend about him and she thinks I need to let him chase me.

My first impression of him was that he is a shy guy. Then when I realized what he has done, I was taken back a bit. So obviously not a shy guy. I still like him, but I would like to know how to go about this and just need some clarification. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? I have seen him and Anna together, and they never showed any signs of being together. He acted single and so did she. I just knew (gut feeling) that something was going on between them two.

NOW...he has also invited me to a house party at his which is coming up soon. He didn't invite Anna (I checked the invite list), so things between him and her are clearly over, but what do I do? I said to him that I will go, but after hearing all this about him, after he invited me to the party, I am confused, and considering of not showing up. Please help me! I can tell he likes me, but how much?

Updates:
PS we are in our early 20s, if that makes any difference. I have never had a boyfriend and apparently he has had one or 2, which I don't know if I can believe

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Most Helpful Guy

  • We don't know the guy, so we can't know if he's a player or not. He just sounds like a normal guy really who just met someone and it just didn't click. No big deal...

    Just go to the party and chill out. Just because he invited you there doesn't mean he wants to bang you THAT NIGHT. Go with the flow, relax, and enjoy the party.

    If things DO happen, only go as far as your comfortable of course. No one has the right to force you to do anything, and if they don't respect your decision to stop, they're not worth your time.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It would not be cool with me

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  • It seems like was stringing Anna along to be honest.

    As for how much he likes you, wouldn't know but I guess you'd find out by showing up at the party.

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    • Yeah, I agree with you. Although, is that a player move, to have a friend with benefits? Sorry if it's a silly question, but I have never been in a relationship, and I find sex as a special act, bot just something that is 'fun'.

      How would I find out? By him making a move? If he is interested, he could text to meet up, party or no party? thanks by the way!

What Girls Said 1

  • OH MYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD YOU TALK ALOT! There was no need to go over allllllll of this.

    Anyway, why are you playing games want him to chase you and whatever games are for kids.. Just ask him straight up when you think its right like when you are SURE that he likes you and you re hanging out and make it casual ask " are you seeing anyone at the moment" if he says no then tell him' I've heard that you and this chick were dating so just making sure' this way he will clarify and say yes we were or no we werent etc

    There is no reason for you to be upset about a guy having sex with a chick if you re not dating and you have no relationship whatsoever its his life. Not to mention, why are you even concerned about what he used to do for her and if he thinks that he will sleep with you or not who cares what he thinks, he's not getting any!

    Once you guys are dating after a while you can let him know that you want an exclusive relationship if he doesn't like that his problem. Plus you didn't mention if he likes you too so why are you assuming that he likes you and that he would chase you to begin with...?

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