When the crazy one reappears?

I dated a guy in college, and always held on to the hope we would get back together. He treated me like dirt, coming in and out my life when it suited him, and never became a friend after we broke up. I started to learn my lesson, and when we began to be in touch again I found myself walking two sides of the fence - remember the good qualities he displayed when we were together, and remembering the way he treated me after we broke up. It was difficult to determine whether his interest was real this time or a repeat of the old, and he chose to date someone else.

We remained in contact, although I was more under the impression we were "friends" than he was. We live a little ways apart and we communicated mostly through e-mail and text (my initiation always) until he moved in with his current girlfriend.

I went pretty crazy after he did that, because he also stopped talking to me. If he hadn't lied about his relationship with her (they were "friends") maybe I would have had time to adjust to it before they moved in together, but he chose to be cowardly and hide it hoping it wouldn't matter to me by the time I found out (if I ever did at all). Is it wrong for me to say it serves him right?

Anyway, a few weeks ago his 30th birthday came around. A pretty significant event. I have gone back and forth about whether this guy was "stand-up" and everything was my fault, or whether he is truly a "dirtbag" like I sometimes think - so I put him to the test (at least in my mind). I sent him a pretty extravagant 30th birthday present (he likes the "best" of things - so expensive is best) and thought if he was really an upstanding guy he would return it. He would feel guilty taking it from someone he doesn't care about at all, and no longer wants any sort of contact with. If he kept it, it shows he cares more about things (and he is, I think, hard up for money right now).

Do you think that logic is sound, and what would you have done if you were him - got a really expensive gift from a crazy girl who was psycho-in-love-with-you at one time? And, how would you explain it to your girlfriend?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You got someone who you just described to us as, basically, a piece of sh*t a really expensive gift in hopes that he would return it to you? Even though he may be down on money and it's his 30th birthday, you want him to return it to you as a test of HIS character? You're f***ing stupid, and should probably see that this whole thing shows more about your character than it does his. You can't just test people's character at your own will, especially when you're so obviously lost in this world you don't even have a clue as to who you are. Seriously, spend some time testing your own character before you try to test others.

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    • But if it were you, you'd take the gift without a second thought. You'd probably gloat over it too. Wouldn't you?

What Guys Said 2

  • waste of time and money on useless thing

    no sense of doing this

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  • i don't think that logic is sound...

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What Girls Said 2

  • try your best to move on.There's no point in playing games with people. It unhealthy for you and will most probably not lead to anything positive. You might end up continually going back and forth with him rather than moving fwd in your life.

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  • I wouldn't even waste the time or money on this douche. You know he won't send it back. Just move on or else you're gonna come off as desperate and pathetic. Karma will get him.

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