Will I always be alone?

I was the rebound guy, but then I wanted to get to know her better…we turned into a serious relationship for 4 months.

Shortly after a month I was starting to be bothered by her never telling me in the bedroom what she liked/disliked, it was frustrating trying to figure out what she liked since she wouldn't open up, and when I asked her directly she said "Idon't't know, ". she then would choose to read 50 shades of grey over seeing me on her days off but always claimed she never got off/wet from it and that she rarely got herself off, she simply liked the story line , it made me feel rejected, or not enough for her to open up to.

In terms of our relationship, I was always very affectionate, made an effort to make her feel special, beautiful, and appreciated. She however had always focused on her job so I only really got to see her a couple of times per week, for a couple of hours at a time. She did come from a childhood without any affection, and I get that, but she didn't seem to even TRY to reach out to me…

When we did spend time together she would always text her friends rather than just 'be' with me…I felt simply like her friend/buddy, like she was never excited to see me, like I was an option not a priority over her work, and then friends.

Couldn't take it anymore so I ended it, instead of feeling alone and unwanted in a relationship.

I wonder if she ever really cared? was I ever good enough? don't most women know how to show their boyfriend that they are valued?

I am 31, and I want a relationship, but it is so tough finding a woman that I'm attracted to that also does not want kids. In a perfect world she would not have children but I am open to it since I do have a child that I see part time. Maybe I was desperate with this girl since she didn't want kids? Will I ever find someone?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • YES! YOU will find LOVE & a LASTING TRUE LOVE at that. But you have to be FULLY READY.
    Ur first & MOST IMPORTANT MISTAKE was allowing yourself to be the REBOUND GUY. You typed "I wanted to know her better"
    You meant: You wantd her, you craved her. You ignored many RED FLAGS! You knw she ws emotionally unavaliable, but kept persuing her anyway.
    She ddn't initate sex, dates, txt, & affection because she wasn't into you so you wouldn't ever been her priority.
    She needs clear her heart of emotional baggage. By txting others while out with you shows she ddn't respect u/ at least as much as she should've.
    (I can't believe she ddn't moan not even once, wow, plus you say your a giver, ha! we all knw what that means lol!)
    She knws your a good guy that's why she kept stringing you along. I bet she did care about you.Yes most women knw how to show value/ affection to their mate. Normally when we dn't that's a dead give away that something is very wrong with the couple.
    Of course you were GOOD ENOUGH for her.
    Don't doubt yourself
    Well at least you wake up after 4 months instead of 4yrs dwn the line. Good 4u.
    It sounds like her lost.
    Learn to invest in people (meaning friends, potenial lover or lovers) who are worth your investment. Realize you happen to be quite valuable. Once you fully realize it so will others.
    Btw you sound a bit unfair & somewhat unrealistic when you typed: you don't want your TRUE LOVE to have any kids or ever want her to have any yet you have one ,so your forever connected with your baby momma. (whom you ll always compare to whoever you date & who you wll always love in a way you could never ever love whoever you get seriously involved with just because she had your child/yea that should have'em running out of the woodwork for you) Given the fact people are certainly intitled to their desires/perferences & who knows your perfect dream women might come become your reality. However you sound very pickly (in reguards to a womens appearence/ oh well to each he own) .

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What Girls Said 7

  • Don't overgeneralise, most women would say that most guys don't even want a relationhip let alone a serious one and that all they want is to fool around. Anyway you did the right thing because you're worth someone's time 100 per cent cos second best won't do. Do not even think about getting lost in stupid thoughts "wasnt I good enough for her" etc etc It's all about timing and she was obviously elsewhere. Think positive and date women it's the only way you'll get a great girl! It sucks but you disnt do anything wrong so don't blame yourself:) clearly anyone who would rather stay home instead of be with another human being is daft ESPECIALLY for something as stupid as fifty shades of grey

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    But seriously, it's better to be in a good relationship than a bad one. Don't give up, and you will find someone.

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  • Why's it so important that you DONT have kids?

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    • I had a very messed up childhood, I am a bit selfish and would rather spend time travelling etc w new partner...plus I have a wonderful daughte who I love dearly

  • I have a feeling that fifty shades of grey will start to ruin relationships.. A bad feeling. Read the book, then you'll know what she wants ;)

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  • excuse me but reading this only confirms to me that other peoples relationships are

    SO BORING ! animals and birds don't mate for life so why expect humans to do it ?

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  • I'm glad you want kids, because you would suck as a father. Seriously, I couldn't believe it when I saw your age. I assumed you were 13 instead of 31.

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  • Yes, but you might have to rethink the "does not want kids but will take care of mine" part, if you really want a relationship soon. That's kind of a double standard. If you meet a girl who really likes you and wants you, but happens to have a kid or wants one together ... would you consider compromising? Not saying you'll never find someone ... but the harder your "list" of traits is to meet, the longer it usually takes to find that person.

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What Guys Said 1

  • forever a stone!

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