College Love Life Problems - I'm Lost. Need Guidance. Please.

OK well first off I am a Junior, transfer student so a unique situation. I didn't know anyone coming into this university because I'm out of state. I felt like I got to know a decent amount of people through Facebook and Twitter before I got here. Well I haven't talked to any of them since all the girls I was banking on joined sororities. And the guys I just fell out of touch with but I met a lot of new guy friends so I ain't too bad in the friend department. Now about the ladies...

The first night I was here I met this awesome girl. She wasn't the typical girl I would go after and maybe that's what drew me. She was cute, smart, sweet and kind. We went on a night walk for well over an hour. I got her number, and for the first night I felt GREAT. I thought, "What a way to start college!" I told my roommate about her and after some Facebook stalking (his idea lol) we found out she actually had a boyfriend. I invited her to see a movie but she already had plans with friends. I really just want to be friends with her now because the more the better in college. We haven't texted much except for when I asked her out to the movie or when I had a question about events at school. I would love to hangout with her again, should I just ask her out to something else? Or hope one miraculous day I randomly run into her, make conversation and then be like "oh we should hangout again sometime!" ? She's the only girl I really got to know thus far, and it's been a full week now. I thought after a great start it would be easy from there on.

OK that's one problem. Hopefully you are still with me. Now here is the biggest problem: finding a girlfriend. It PAINS me to see so many hot chicks around campus and I may never get one of them. I'm at the point of my life where I would love to have a serious relationship. I don't know where or how to really get to know these chicks. It's hard. Besides clubs/organizations how do I start conversation with them? Classes barely started but should I resort to that once class gets more in-depth? I used to be a big party guy but I'm older now and grew out of it. I'm not sure if I can find a nice girlfriend at college parties, I feel like the easy sluts are more likely. If I begin to get desperate, I'm afraid I would just resort to partying every weekend and finding the biggest sluts out there. Temporary pleasure but nothing everlasting.

I'm sorry I tried to cut it as short as possible but I had a lot on my mind and needed to vent. ANY answers/advice would be greatly appreciated and I will gladly give feedback. Thanks in advance!

Updates:
Anyone else got any input ?
Well just a little bit of an update. Joined the rugby club. So far not too bad. I made a lot more friends and some girls too. There's one that really caught my eye. So hopefully it works out, thanks everybody.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah like you could try and see if that girl wanted to hang out, but only as friends. Don't make any moves on her just yet... give things some time and see if she ever becomes single again.

    But as for wanting a girlfriend, I can relate, but it's best to just give things some time... Being that we're more into serious relationships things will start to fall into place as we age a little more. A lot of people just want to mess around and have a good time right now, without dealing with any complications... Sure it's hard to have to wait, but things will get better and I really believe that dating will get easier within the next couple of years (I'm around the same age as you...).

    When girls are looking into getting serious about relationships, they'll start looking more in the right places. For the moment, just get out and do your thing, and have fun... Besides, you never know who you might meet in the meantime!

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What Girls Said 4

  • School has just started and I think you are kind of moving fast on the social scene. I think you should give things a bit more time. Being a new and out-of-state is a great ice breaker. I found the people I got to know the most were those in my classes, it is almost like being in the same class kind of bonds all the classmates a bit and the bond gets a bit stronger as the semester goes on. You would have lot to talk about if you can just zero in on the girls you want to strike up convo with in your class or even around campus. Being new you can strike up a random conversation with a girl around campus by being very polite and walking up to a girl and asking 'excuse me do you know where __ is?" you can pretend to be lost and mention a building you are looking for or ask for recommendation to a particular local spot, hope I am making sense so far,lol. You actually have quite an edge and lots to chat about. Like I said being from out-of-state can make for some interesting conversation. If that person is local, that is great they can talk to you more about the area. If they are out-of-state too that is also great as they can talk to you about where they are from and vice-versa. Don't be desperate! Just take your time and be patient.

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  • Its definitely not to early to talk to people in your classes. That proves the perfect conversation starter as you can talk to people about what was discussed during class and then get to know them a little better.

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    • Yeah I'm starting to believe that may be my best chance. I actually found out this girl I know on Twitter has the same class as me (big lecture class tho) and we kinda already talked about the class, however I completely whiffed on the opportunity to ask for the number. Maybe by the first quiz or test I can bring it up again.

  • maybe just take a break and think about what exactly you want. I always avoided or wanted to avoid them in college, too much to focus on

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    • Is there a further reason why you avoided them? I just feel like I got a lot of good things going on in my life but I feel like I've been having something missing for awhile in my life and that would be a serious relationship with a girl.

  • Well try meeting a girl in class rather than parties or clubs. Join a group on campus. I agree that parties are probably where you are going to get the more slutty variety of females lol

    Give it sometime though its only what, week one?

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    • yeah that's what I've been looking into a lot. I grabbed a lot of information for organizations that help out in the community or with children since kindhearted girls would likely participate. I thought about clubs like Rugby (played football in HS, hope Rugby can draw some chicks lol). Thanks for your advice and do you have any suggestion for the girl I met the first night by any chance? Appreciate the help.

    • I would be careful with that girl, since she has a boyfriend. Rugby will draw in some chicks. Just try going to all of the events they have on campus and meet new people. In class talk to some cute girls about forming a study group that might work :)

    • Yeah I've been thinking about forming study groups, probably the smoothest move possible lol. And like I just have to see this girl again for some reason, she was so cool and idc if whatever we do ends in a disaster, I just want to see her and hopefully be at least friends. I just don't know how to text/talk to her without it seeming like I want her as a love interest. Once again thanks for all the help, you're awesome.

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