I WAS very scared when he started admitting feelings for me. I'm confused, what should I do!!

So I started a relationship a little over a month with someone who has been a very good friend for over an year. he visits me quite regular he already had a relationship with my kids and they love him a lot. he met my mother since we started seeing each other more than good friends.

He also had ended a relationship over six months ago. Another thing I am 38 and he is 29.. wow! I WAS very scared when he started admitting feelings for me.. I tried so so hard to fight it off but he was a very persistent fellow..

My confusion came when he mentioned one night while we were making love, he said " well you better enjoy this one as this will be your last time with me, what do you think, how are you feeling, would you be hurt if I should say that , would you say that I am using us" then he would say " My goodness , you actually believe me, come on I'm kidding" Now I am not accustom to those jokes that appears serious and then they become oh, its a joke..

Now yesterday while we were together relaxing, we started a conversation, well I started the conversation so I asked.." Do you think we are doing the right think, do you thinks its a mistake with us, our age and the fact that we work at the same place" and his response was " Yes" so I asked, which on of the factor, the age or the fact that we work together" he said "both , you know you force it out of me" So I said when did you realize that and he said " I have been thinking about it and was saying its better for us to stop now before it goes any further, how does it make you feel to know that I was using you, I am not joking, this is not the best place to talk about this" then he kissed me on the face and say "I am kidding, I bet now you get confuse" well I said yes of course, I was feeling so hurt, so I said to him " do you enjoy doing this, to make me feel this way? he said no, " I am sorry what can I do to prove to you that that's not what I would want , is there anything that I can do to prove to you that that's not what I want . Now I was so hurt that I did not even answer. so he apologize and say he will not do it again.

I mean he would like to to have a child for him, but on that note when I asked him if he is serious he said very serious.. now with the jokes I am not sure if I should take him serious. He want for us to start trying for a child, but even though we had sex without protection like three times over the weekend, I still went ahead and purchase posting this morning, don't want to hurt his feelings but I have to protect mine.. What should I do guys.. I'm lost


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What Guys Said 1

  • if it's a question about wether or not you should be with then I say yes. The reason why he was saying all those serious jokes was to see how you react to them so he could truly know how you feel about him. If he said it jokingly then you would only answer jokingly. It seems he is really into you and age shouldn't matter when love is invovled so I say go for it and be with him because it obviously seems he wants to be with you.

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    • Thanks Hemorage...

    • Thanks for your input, just that I have never experience anyone who would run such serious jokes, Couldn't he find out some other way... I was of the impression that he was actually seroius but chicken out when he realized that I was feeling hurt...

    • it is over the top but some guys just prefer it that way I don't know why but it does truly work(bout 90% of the time)

What Girls Said 1

  • If you want to know if the guy is honestly serious about you or not then I suggest you get him to commit to you... as in get engaged and get married. And do this BEFORE you have a child.

    When I read the "trying to have a child" part of your question I was shocked. Why would you do that if you aren't 100% positive he's serious? Getting knocked up by a guy who isn't your husband as a means to get him to commit to you is underhanded and one of the oldest tricks in a woman's playbook. Think about the child FIRST. What kind of life would your child have if you used your child to force your man into marrying you? Or if the child had to bounce from one household to the other throughout its childhood because he didn't really want to be with you? I know kids experience that latter thing all the thing with divorced parents but still it's never easy on them.

    If you're lost, then figure it out first. Don't start having unprotected sex when you don't know what this guy really wants. Because he keeps throwing the "I'm joking" remark in there all the time, there's no way to tell what he really means. Something tells me that he initially tells the truth but then cops-out for fear of hurting you or getting into trouble, so then he says he's joking. Whatever his reason for "joking" is in the first place, the truth is, that's a very immature, stupid game he's playing. I'm surprised a 29yo would do something like that, but men do tend to be less mature than women the same age. Don't you want to be with a grown man? Don't you want to have a child with a grown man? Not some kid who plays games?

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    • You have some really good points there, but I would never try having a child with a guy in order for him to commit. I strongly believe that if a guy commits to me it should be out of pure love something that he wants to do and not force, which was the reason for me to take the postinor. He wasn't feeling very happy when I told him I took it, but I had to... Thanks for your pointers.

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