Is this how girls act when they can't say no ?

Ok so I went out with this girl for coffee about 3 weeks ago . I'm not sure if it was even a date , I asked her let's go out for coffee and she agreed . Anyway after about 3-4 days I messaged her saying "I had a good time , let's catch up this weekend"

She replied saying "yeah me too :) , I'm actually going out of town this weekend , but if not let's catch up " .

So the weekend passed and I messaged her next Wednesday saying "Hey how about we check out [some coffee place] this weekend" . She replied saying "Sure , I'm a bit busy on Saturday , but let's try Sunday " . I messaged her on Sunday morning "Hey are you free to catch up" and I didn't get a reply . It's been about a week or so since this happened

here's my question - Should I again message her and try to set something up ? or is she just trying to say NO in a very polite way and should I just forget about her ?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, it's hard..

    She might be busy.. But no matter what you are not her 1. priority. But that doesn't mean, that she don't want to go out and so.. Try not to message her something like:

    "You seem to be very busy, so I don't want to stress you out. I really want to hang out, and I enjoy your company. Therefore, can't you call me or something when you have time?"

    And then wait a bit. If she doesn't call you, be patient and seem like you "don't care" for a while, and then ask her out one last time :-)

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    • Ah I think there's no chance of her calling me . She has said in the past that she's "fairly useless" when it comes to replying to texts/calls . Not only that she also told me that most of her friends complain that she never initiates anything . Apparently she's really happy to have so many friends who understand the way she is .

      What do you think ?

What Girls Said 4

  • All girls are different, if it were me I wouldn't do all that if I werent interested, but she's not me, could be one of two things...either that she's jus trying to shut you down nicely cos she likes you as a person or she's got a very busy life, unfortunately it sounds like the first one, I don't think you should message her again as youve put all the effort in so far and maybe if she realizes youve stopped trying then she may miss you and contact you, if you contact her again now and there's still a chance she might message you then you doing that might ruin the chances of her bothering

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    • I don't think she'll initiate a convo , let alone "miss me" . I'm fairly sure about this .

      Do you think I should give it one last go or just forget about it ?

    • if its really gonna eat at you for not trying again which it seems like it may do, I wouldn't message her again to ask her out again I would jus message her to ask hey hoes it going or something and then see how the conversation goes, asks what's she's been up to and have a joke to break the ice and if you get on and she has a conversation with you, ask then maybe?

  • you've already put in enough effort and showed her you're interested. now you need to back off, and if she is interested she'll come to you. don't text her anymore. you'll come off as overeager and a little desperate, which you're not, so stop it.

    if she does come around, give a little tension at first, the way she's been doing to you. you're not some little puppy dog waiting around for her to say she's ready to play.

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    • I don't think she'll text/call me . Her job is so crazy that she works about 14 hours a day in a highly stressful job , so I doubt she'll have any kind of time to think about me .

      Should I text one last time or just let it go ?

  • Maybe she has been busy.

    Sounds somewhat like she is trying to avoid it, but other wise I can't see why she'd agree to do it again if she had no intention of seeing you again. Maybe just wait for her to text you.

    If she doesn't text you say within three day, you haven't really lost anything.

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    • Yeah that's what's surprising , if she didn't want to see my again she could have just said she's really busy when I asked her the second time . But she didn't say any of that .

      Do you think I should text one last time or just let it go ?

  • dont message her anymore, if sh wants to hang out she will contact you

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    • Yeah that's what I thought , but I'm fairly sure that if I don't initiate anything , then it's more or less done .

What Guys Said 1

  • She was just being polite. She likes you enough so she doesn't want to hurt yoour feelings, but sh'es not up for any intense sort of relationship with you.

    Send her a kiss-off but friendly text, so she knows you got the hint, and then leave her alone.

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    • Has this every happened to you man ?

      Also what do you mean by a "kiss off but friendly text " ? What kind of message should I send her ?

    • 'It was nice talking to you. Good luck with everything and I hope you find what you are looking for.'

      VOILA..the polite kiss-off note!

      Sure, it still happesn to me even though I'm an old married guy!

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