Taught not to chase a man old school what do you think?

I don't know about this new generation but it seems as if the WOMEN chase more now a days. I wasn't taught like that and I stand by it I was taught not to contact 1rst, initiate anything 1rst and it has helped me weed out all the douchebags in my life it really has! Lets face it guys have a higher sex drive and in my eyes he has to earn it. There's a saying " a man that finds a wife finds a good thing". Yes there have been the downs of not chasing like I can't call and text when I have feelings for somebody and let them know that or "im chasing" . I want to know how can I use the old school way of not chasing a man but yet letting them know how I feel I get bashed for it all the time but I'm not changing it! so please only good things.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Traditionally in most cultures that's how it is, and before that, how it is in the animal kingdom especially among mammals.

    Thanks partially to PC and hanging threat of harrassment lawsuits, as well as media bashing of masculinity, men today are more reluctant to pursue a woman they are interested in. This has compelled some women out of frustration to decide to go after the guy themselves. Old school teaches that if a man is pursued, he loses interest, feels put off, feels unmanly, yadda yadda yadda. My take is if a man turns down a woman he thinks is very attractive, very cool, solely on the basis that his animal instincts weren't in play, he's not worthy of having her.

    Therefore, go for it.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Well, new times has come,and we all need to adapt. Society is different,media is stressing both genders to the limit where they think they are just not good enough,and because of that they just don't try and give up... But as you said before you do not wanna change,and that's OK. So considering that my only advice could be to show your person of interest that you're into him... You know eye contact,smiling a bit of flirting,you can even start a conversation with him,that doesn't mean that you are chasing him,just that so he has a clue,and start chasing you :)

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  • Not "chasing" is ok...just don't be an ice queen.

    The only men that are willing to break down a thick wall of ice are douchebags...AND even then they're not guaranteed to be interested in the long-term.

    P.S. It definitely bugs me to hear about guys bitching (yes, I said BITCHING), about "i don't want to approach a girl" and "why don't girls do the initiating?" Shut the f*ck up with the whining, please.

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  • I think you can go too far with it. No, men and women are not the same, yes, its reasonable to have him initiate more, but he's likely looking for more in signals back then just you following along.

    This isn't a 'yes, chase' or 'no, never do anything first'. There's a spectrum of behavior.

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  • Last time I checked douchebags had no lower sex drive or lesser confidence than good guys, so exactly how you expect the weeding out of douchebags to work by your method?

    If a woman expects me to call but she would never ever call me herself and tell me how she feels but instead just get mad at me - this is not something that adds value to any relationship in my eyes, or its long terms prospects.

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  • I am not sure what are you talking about but as far as I have noticed most women don't chase men at all. And if you don't want to do anything then there is nothing you can do and hope he keeps chasing you.

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  • well a traditional type of guy is bound to approach you and ask you out eventually

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    • How I so like the traditional guy,new men are so confusing:(

    • maybe the argument about men being the more disposable gender is sort of accurate

  • Get what you want in life and who cares what others think. Old sayings don't mean much as society is a bit different after women's lib

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  • i hate chasing

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What Girls Said 3

  • I agree with everything. Of course you'll have the "aren't men and women the same" crowd try to argue you down lol but we know the truth

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  • I don't chase. When I fall into the trap of "chasing" (already in a relationship at this point) it means he's no longer interested and not man enough to break up with me.

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  • It sucks to do all the chasing. I would like to do your method and just wait around but had I done that I would have only had two relationships in my life, both of which sucked. So I'll pick who I want rather than waiting to be picked.

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