That point in a relationship- to stay or go?

My boyfriend and I have been together for quite awhile and after some retail therapy today I began to think about some of the negatives of my relationship. We've been together about a year and he has paid for two dates, he has no job, he likes to party, he has never boughten me flowers/cards/bears. The sex is good, but he usually focuses on his own pleasure. Now don't get me wrong, I understand that relationships will have their difficulties but I just feel like I am missing out. He is sincere and he genuinely loves me and is always there .. . What would you do? - Thanks!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "I just feel like I am missing out. He is sincere and he genuinely loves me and is always there .. ."

    Yes, but do you love him? Or do you love what he *could* be?

    Is this current treatment too big a deal to accept for now (aka do you like it "enough")? Could you tolerate not going out, his not having a job, focusing on his own pleasure, etc. for the rest of your life with him?

    You could try having a frank talk with him about it, but if you already have, I can almost guarantee he won't change.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If you want to be treated like a princess, and you're not getting it, why are you with him still?

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  • too many of those things are negatives to be OK with it. youve had a year to see him so what makes you think he will change. you want more so go find the guy who does that. I've done most of what you want for girls that are just friends.

    ps it is just bought

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What Girls Said 4

  • You need to determine your relationship needs. What are you looking for from a guy and your relationship? It is up to YOU to establish what you need, refuse to tolerate, and preferences that you're willing to bend on.

    For instance, some of my personal qualifications:

    I refuse to tolerate a big ego.

    I need open, honest communication.

    I need someone with a healthy sex drive. (At my age, men who fit this are getting less & less.)

    I need someone who can provide for and take care of himself.

    I would like someone taller than me but am willing to consider someone slightly shorter than myself.

    That's just a short list, but that should help you get started. Once you have figured out your list (as physically write them down - that helps) then you can more easily make up your mind about your current relationship. Don't settle for less than what you need because that is YOU disrespecting yourself

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  • I AM IN THE SAME RELATIONSHIP AS YOU XCEPT FOR THE PARTYING, AND THIS IS HOW I SEE IT, I CAN PROVIDE MYSELF WITH MATERIAL THINGS, SO WHAT I WANT FROM MY BOYFREIND IS HIMSELF AND TO BUILD HAPPY MEMORIES OF OUR TIME TOGETHER.

    THIS MIGHT HELP YOU , MIGHT NOT. JUST FOLLOW YOURE HEART AND ASK YOURSELF WHAT IS EXACTLY THAT I WANT FROM A RELATIONSHIP AND MY BOYFREIND. GOOD LUCK!

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  • sounds like he is taking advantage of you

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  • He sounds like a loser. If partying is more important than getting a job then I wouldn't keep him around. I suggest bringing these things up. Tell him it's time he mans up and starts working like mist normal adults do and that there needs to be equal focus on pleasure in the bedroom. A solid relationship requires communication.

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