Two great dates, and now...nothing? Did my Labrador ruin things for me?

So, I went out on a couple of dates with this guy that I have known for about two years. I don't know him well, but about a month ago we came into contact and made a plan to go out for drinks. The date was fantastic, and by the end of it, we were making out like wild animals.

The next week, he asked me out again. He really went out of his way this time, dressed up, opened car doors, pulled out chairs, stuff I really didn't think guys did anymore. Again, we had an amazing time, and things went quite a bit further than making out, though we didn't actually have sex. Everything was perfect until I left the room briefly and my dog cockblocked me by growling at my date lol. Still, I think everything went well until that point.

I think this guy could be a good match for me. He's funny, educated, interesting and knows what he's doing in the bedroom department. We have mutual interests and there is clearly a strong sexual attraction.

Well, that second date was two weeks ago, and all I have heard from him since are a couple of texts. The texts were very nice and somewhat suggestive, but still...texts. And no phone call or anything for a week! He's a school teacher and just bought a house, so I know he's busy, but this is ridiculous. I am thinking he's not into me, which is weird, based on how our first couple of dates went.

I am a fairly attractive woman and not an idiot in these matters, but UGH! Dating at my age seems so much more complicated than it used to be! I do like this guy very much, but two weeks with only minimal communication?! Not impressed. Should I forget the whole thing or give him the benefit of the doubt an assume he's genuinely busy? Did my Labrador ruin things for me?

HELP!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • With guys take your time. Some guys may take weeks or months to communicate in the dating stages. It doesn't mean they are not interested it means they are dating other women and keeping their options open and so should you. If you focus your whole attention on this guy here is what happens:

    1. You like him and then he occupies most of your thinking time.

    2. Since he occupies your mental space you write questions about him on GAG and overanalyze everything. (Including in what ways your labrador retriever must have messed up the potential relationship which is ridiculous).

    3. Now since he hasn't immediately sent more messages or anything reinforcing his liking of you, you start questioning everything which makes you more obsessed.

    4. Since you are obsessed you "Expect" him to do things for you when he is not really your boyfriend and he hasn't decared his love or that you two should have a monogamous relationship.

    5. When you expect him to do things for you, you get disappointed and then you whine or call him incessantly or do any things that show that you are desperate for a relationship with him which in turn suffocates him and sends him running for the hills (obviously after the sex).

    So read a book, go on a chicks night out, date other men, forget about him and don't invest your feelings for him until he proves that he is reliable in his calls, dates, money and time spent on you. Let him do the chasing and be the non-challant. Hold the power.

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    • Thanks! I don't seriously think my dog messed it up for me, though it was kind of annoying and also hilarious that my dog killed the moment by sneaking in and growling at him.

      I don't expect him to do things for me, ask me out or anything else, and I have kept all my texts very light. I haven't whined or called him incessantly. He's not occupying all my thinking time, clearly, but I do want to see him again and not sure where to proceed from here.

What Guys Said 1

  • What communication have you initiated with him?

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    • Maybe half a dozen texts. I think I might have tried to call him once, but didn't leave a message. I was house-sitting over Labor Day weekend and asked him if he wanted to keep me company, but he declined, saying he was too tired. After that, I really haven't contacted him at all, except for one text. I don't want to come off as desperate or stalkerish, as I am neither.

What Girls Said 1

  • Follow the same rules you would have done when you were younger, and don't over-think it.

    Maybe try calling him again, at a time he's more likely to be around and settled. If he is busy, then that could explain this lack of communication, but best just to call or something and see if you can better judge in something more personal than a text. It's only early days, and he does seem to be showing a lot of interest, so it can't hurt and I don't think it would make you seem desperate.

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