I dated this guy for 9 months. I really liked him but never felt in love with him. But there was never any fighting so we never had a reason to break up. When we did break up it was because he was pulling away. Now that he is seeing someone else and looks way happier than we ever did I look back and realized all the red flags that we had. I'm so mad at myself for spending 9 months with someone that I truly never really loved. Has anyone else ever had this happen to them? And how do you forgive yourself? I feel like I wasted almost a year of my life never being really into someone.
Most Helpful Guy
Let me guess:
he was a genuinely good guy, decent (or better) looking, had excellent character, bf-material...
...but no "spark", right? And you felt guilty because he's a really good guy and that you SHOULD like him, but you tried to force it?
At least now you know, that you cannot "manufacture" the spark needed in romance. It seems like every girl meets a guy like this; ticks all the boxes for a good boyfriend EXCEPT that butterfly-inducing, heart-fluttering emotional feeling for him.
Then she feels guilty because she hears about good men being hard to find, and there is one, but she doesn't emotionally feel for him.
Dont beat yourself up for this. Consider this a lesson learned. The spark HAS to be there relatively soon, and even the most idealistic character traits in a guy cannot makeup for this.2