Do I ask him? Or keep myself guessing?

I know this isn't exactly the right thing to do.. But lately my boyfriend has been acting weird.. Like.. He refuses to sleep with his phone on the table, it has to be under his pillow.. He turns away when he gets a text.. He leaves the room when he gets a call.. I had my head on his shoulder one day when he got a text, he accused me of trying to snoop.. I got upset and asked who it was. He said it was John, his boss. I noticed that he deleted messages and went to John's messages. I found out it was his ex. Tonight he was acting really strange. After he fell asleep I decided to look at his phone. I guess he forgot that I can see his recent contacts.. I looked and saw that he'd been texting his ex, and 2 other people, and that he had been deleting those messages. It isn't bad that he talks to his ex, but she still likes him and he knows it. What is going on? I am super confused right now..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • sounds like he's being an a**hole. Its unfair for him to hide things like that from you and bottom line is that he has lied to you, yes it was wrong to look at his phone but I'm guessing you wouldn't have done it if he hadn't have made you so paranoid =/ you two are in a relationship you and him. not him and his ex, from what I know ex's cannot be friends. I've tried before and it did not work out well.

    Tell him you need to talk to him, explain that you aren't going to let him mess you around and that he should not be texting an ex or hiding any messages from you. If the texts really are nothing then he would have had nothing to hide =/

    how would he like if it was the other way around? and you were hiding things from him?

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What Guys Said 5

  • First, don't snoop and go through his things, its a huge violation of his privacy and personal space. I understand he is acting weird, and I do think you had good reason to. But think about if it was you.

    Second yes do talk to him about it, I don't think you have to tell him that you went through his phone if you don't want to but do ask him what's up with him, demand a real answer and he keeps lying tell him you went through his phone, it will make him angry but if you really want to get to the end of this you got to talk to him. I think the whole seeing his ex thing is a bad sign, but you don't have the whole picture so ask him.

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    • All of my stuff is fully open to him.. At any time. He has looked through my phone, emails, and Facebook. I never go through his because I was too afraid of what might be there. I finally couldn't take it, so I looked..

  • He's seeing his ex, pull away. Get used to it. Rejection is a part of life and it's very common that many of your partners will be seeing other people until you are truly committed (like engaged committed and even then there are many exceptions). I wish I could say it gets easier to deal with this, but it's tough.

    Start looking for other guys no matter what happens with you. You need leverage and to diversify where you put your heart.

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  • I think you should come clean and tell him that you looked through his phone and explain the reasoning.

    He may be angry over the invasion of privacy, but he'll get over it

    If he doesn't forgive you he's not worth having

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    • The problem is.. I love him too much to just risk it. I have only been in one other serious relationship and I was 15-17 then.. Now I am 19.. I want a real relationship and now its all up in the air.. I don't know if I need to just deal with his dishonesty, or leave.. Or what..

  • Sounds like a tool

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  • Cheating or trying to get rid of an ex that's not over him

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    • Is it likely that its just him trying to get rid of her? I asked this morning and he said she had been to his house a few times since we started dating. That isn't really bad, but I want honesty from him..

    • It's very possible that he's trying to get rid of her. Some girls just hold on even after they get dumped

What Girls Said 2

  • he is being sneaky with u,he may be seeing her if he is hiding all those text,u feel he is acting strange because he is and your gut is on point,ask him to be honest with you because you can't deal with all the shadiness,if he still won't tell u,dump him,he may end up cheating on u.he should not be texting her,it is his ex.

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    • Okay.. So I asked this morning.. He said no. I told him that I know for a fact they have been texting, but still haven't told him I looked at his phone. I also asked if she'd been over to his house since we got together almost a year ago. He said yes, a couple times, but still won't admit to texting her..

    • a couple of times? red flag

  • If I were you, I wouldn't tell him you went through his phone. It was obvious he was hiding something before you went through it, so don't even bother telling him. If you do that he'll just accuse you of snooping and he'll turn everything on you.

    You should confront him and tell him you know him well enough to know that something's going on. Act like the caring girlfriend who wants him to open up to you. Be nice about it and you'll have a better chance of getting an answer from him. Don't freak out and yell because then he won't tell you anything.

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