Why are girls so hard on themselves?

It seems pretty common that whenever a girl texts a guy first for about 3 times in a row, she feels like she is annoying him. Why is that girls? I really doubt that any guy feels annoyed whenever a girl texts him. Why is that girls? Guys, do you ever get annoyed when a girl texts you alot? How do you handle it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've always been 'one of the boys', so I know from observation that a lot of guys DO get irritated when a girl texts them, if they don't care much about talking to her. I don't register as a 'girl' to them so much, so I hear everything. They don't censor themselves around me.

    I'll text once, and if I don't get a response in a few hours or so, I might send one more. But if they don't answer after that, I leave the ball in their court because they're either busy or don't want to talk to me. If they do want to talk to me, they'll hit me back later when they CAN/want to. I probably won't initiate next contact, unless it's been several days and I have a pressing reason to.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I feel that way a lot too. My last boyfriend was crazy about me for like the first month we knew each other... then he seemed to get bored of me and would never make plans with me or want to text with me (he REFUSED to call me and talk to me on the phone. If I called him, he would ignore it and then text me asking me why I called him -_____-) So, now every time I text a guy first or message him over Facebook, I always get nervous and basically interrogate myself and wonder how I'm coming off to the guy. Right now, I have this weird thing with this guy I used to go to school with, he moved away 2 years ago and is now living in New York (which isn't too far from me). And we talk over Facebook and text, but I always start the conversations, so I'm kinda testing him by not talking to him first to see if he'll try to start taking the initiative.. So far it's working =)

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  • I feel as if I'm interrupting his day when I text a guy first. I don't want him to think that I'm clingy or dying for his attention. I would usually text him then give it a day to text him first again. Until a guy tells me he wants me to text him every day, I won't text him first unless I really want to see how he's doing or haven't talked to him in a while because I would call myself texting him every day almost at the same exact time I texted him the day before or around the exact time where I know I may get a response.

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  • I would text a guy .. any guy I don't have a big deal doing that...UNLESS I do like the guy so much, then, I get very self-conscious, I worry a lot to annoy him, or my PRIDE aches when he doesn't show the same interest... so I try to pay attention to each step I make ^^ Yeahh welcome to women-land :)

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  • because we hear a lot how girls/women are annoying and they shouldn't this or that, we are so typical, we all do it etc.. etc.. sometimes we internalize this and makes us worry about how we act or appear around men. (this is more of a human thing that a girl thing, but society directs it toward us a lot)

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  • I guess it means some are sensitive to others and how others view themselves. I sometimes am guilty of such and my fiance is never upset or annoyed.

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  • Girls tend to read into situations a lot more than guys do and this sometimes leads to them making up problems in their head that they don't have any substancial evidence of.

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  • It's because we're really self concience and you know we kind of stress over everything for this hit if we like him

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  • We worry way to much... that's what it comes down to.

    Pleasing ourselves and every other person in the world which will never happen.

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  • do you not write back to her? or like take forever? or short replies?

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    • I write back to her almost instantly every time. Never short replies unless she does. If anything, I do a majority of the talking every time. She just initiates the texting.

  • Nobody likes feeling needy or clingy. If your constantly texting someone you start developing that sense. And if you really like someone you don't wanna annoy them, because that will eventually drive them away. And you don't know if you are bothering them. Because in reality they could be busy for all you know.

    No matter what, there is always that uncertainty. If I'm texting a guy I really like I start doubting myself. And ill start doubting myself worth, I don't wanna come off as desperate. It feels different when a guy is the one texting me. It makes me feel special. If he takes time from his day to talk to me that shows me that he likes me and cares enough to talk to me. If I text him he could just be responding to be polite.

    Do you like feeling like you are bothering or annoying people? Just think about this, how do you feel when someone you like texts you? Now is that the same feeling you get when you text them.

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    • I'm a little different than most people. I don't feel like I'm annoying them only because they don't have to respond if they don't want to. And a lot of the time, people don't even get the texts that I do send them. I'd rather just call them and meet up somewhere rather than text. I'm not big on texting or other text based communicating.

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    • Exactly. It's when people somehow get a cup of courage and aren't afraid to say some things that start arguments unlike in person. There is so much that can go wrong, and only a little that goes right.

    • A lot of people say things they would never say in person when they are texting. I would prefer if my friends just switched to calling me. But probably not gonna happen. Going back to your question I think your question mainly applies to when a girl likes or is interested in a guy.

  • I'm like that because of uncertainty. I always have a doubt in my mind that he's not as interested as me, so I'm afraid of what he'll think of me. I don't want to come off as desperate or needy. I just want to make a really good impression.

    I really liked a guy once and people told me we acted like a couple flirting all the time, but at the end of the day I still couldn't initiate texting 99% of the time because I had some doubts. It's a fear and I think a lot of girls just have that worry.

    Now, I tell people I'm not much of a texter so we do more talking it person. It's so much easier that way. No misunderstandings. Nothing taken the wrong way. No pressure.

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  • I tend to not like bothering someone... Since I have more guy friends than girl friends I know how they feel sometimes when a girl texts to much or how annoying she may be and things like that so I tend not to text first at all, it's pretty rare when I text someone first. It's just the way I am. I don't know why but I just feel like I'm a bother when I text a guy first.

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  • because we've heard from guys how they get annoyed when a girl texts them a lot

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What Guys Said 4

  • I'm the same haha. For me it should ideally be the same amount of initiation for the both of them. Both should text each other first. If only one of them ever texts the other first, it kinda shows that only one person is really interested in talking to the other person and the other person only replies out of obligation.

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  • Because some are annoying.

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  • I actually do get pissed if someone is that impatient

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  • I never get annoyed if a girl texts me too much, only if say I don't reply within an hour or so and she texts asking if she's done something wrong.

    At the moment I'm on the other side of the court, texting this girl who does really like me but is really nervous/shy around me, so I always initiate the conversations, and sometimes I feel that I'm annoying her as she's pretty blunt and straight to the point with her replies as she doesn't care much for texting, but with our lifestyles being so different at the moment that's the only way I can talk to her

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