So a little over a year ago I had a few dates with a girl that I had known from college. We only went to school for 2 years & shared some mutual friends but were not close. We hit it off immediately. It was the most fluid experience I've ever had with a girl. Problem was that she was moving 1000 miles away in 3 weeks from our first date.We only were able to hangout a handful of times before her move. Each time was great. She moved & she kept in touch with me. I wasn't sure why but I liked this girl so I was OK keeping in touch. We talked a lot weekly via texts some calls and emails. We also sent handwritten letters a few times to one another. But we were not dating, we were essentially pen pals at this point. Eventually I went to visit her a few months after her move. I was taking a risk because none of our feelings for one another were ever discussed. I didn't know what to expect. I got down there & it was great. We clicked again & pretty much acted like a couple for the 4 days I was there. The only time it drew a negative was when I asked her what we were doing. She expressed her disinterest in a long distance relationship. She had been in one before & was cheated on, so I understood her hesitation. Not to mention the common pains with a LDR. It bummed me out but she was honest with me.
Well over the next several months there were a lot of ups & downs. There were two stints where we stopped communicating. It was hard to try to keep things going for both of us. I didn't put my life on hold & neither did she. We both dated other people which obviously conflicted with our relationship.
The last time she was home was for her birthday a few months ago. She asked me to meet up with her for drinks. We went out, met some of her old friends & it was very casual. I didn't know if I should be making moves or what. When I took her home I decided "f*ck it" & went in for a kiss. We kissed for a while & it was great but then she stopped & brought up what we were doing. This resulted in a long talk about whether it was healthy for us to keep doing this to ourselves. I didn't want to let her go but I knew that it wasn't healthy for us to stay in touch due to the feelings I had for her. So 3 months go by with no communication. Then she emails me out of the blue. Just a link to a website she said I should check out. I thought maybe this was an ice breaker. So I replied & in it I asked how she was. This lead to her telling me things weren't going well. I just told her I was sorry & things would turn around for her. That was it. I didn't wan' to indulge her since I had been her crying shoulder before but if I'm not dating her I don't want to be put in that position. She said thanks & asked me how I was.
3 days later she sends a text saying "I'm moving home"
She'll be home in 2 weeks.
I'm terrified. She has been contacting me a lot this past week & we sort of have a date lined up. I am just struggling with how aggressive I should be. I don't want to screw up.
- Should I be contacting her a lot leading up to her return?Vote A
- Should I be low key and wait for her to reach out to me?Vote B
- Should I be very aggressive and persistent when she comes home?Vote C
- Should I keep contact light until she's actual able to meet up?Vote D