Guys - if a girl messed up, would you be straight forward and say there was no chance?

So back story: I went to see my ex for a friendly dinner after I had been talking to this guy online for about a month (which is about the same amount of time my ex and I had been broken up for). Guy I'd been talking to had suspicions of me not being over my ex. He found out that I went to see my ex and deleted me off facebook/myspace. I talked to him the next day and explained to him what happened.. that I had to go see my ex to put my feelings at bay and we also had the talk that a relationship between me and my ex would never happen again because of the distance. I told the guy I'd been talking to that I regret going to see my ex because I more than likely upset him (new guy). He said I didn't upset him; I just pretty much confirmed the suspicion he had all along. I told him if it would make things right I would completely cut off contact with my ex and for good.

I told him if he really didn't want to talk to me anymore, then say the magic words and I will leave him alone, but *I* personally do still want to talk to him. He said he hasn't decided yet and that he pretty much knew that I wasn't over my ex so he purposely backed himself off, and that the following night kind of made it worse. It's been two days and he hasn't talked to me yet. I said my piece to him so he could decide what he wanted to do. I'm trying to give him space since it hasn't been that long. I would think if he didn't want anything to do with me he wouldn't had said that he still really hasn't decided yet. Would you tell a girl up front that she messed up and you won't give her another chance? It seems like he's contemplating what to do. I also don't know if I should text him and tell him to let me know if/when we're cool again, cause I do miss talking to him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd do the exact same thing this guy did. If you're still talking to an ex, I don't want to be near you, even if I like you. I've been in that situation before, and everyone ends up feeling burned.

    Depending on how you handled it, I might not rule out dating you again. I might say, "Call me if you're ever ready to date again." But I'd back off and move ahead with my life.

    I don't know that I'd say "You blew it, honey." That sounds arrogant and presumptuous. Especially if he likes you, and is confused.

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    • I was doing good with moving on with my life til my ex got in contact with me. But I even told this guy that I would cut off all contact with my ex for good if it meant making things right, and I'm serious about that. I don't want the situation with my ex to ruin my future possible relationships. I wasn't "talking" to my ex in a sense of dating. It was just casual conversation.

    • Also, I had never met this guy. We met on a dating site and he lives 3 hours away from me. He actually lives about 20-30 mins away from where I used to live, and I've been considering moving back to that area.

What Guys Said 2

  • Honestly, I would agree that it seems you aren't over your ex. If I had feelings for you, I would still want you in my life. That being said I would want you to be happy regardless. I would probably say I was backing off or giving you time to think while really just waiting and wishing that you would show you wanted me more.

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  • He is afraid you are rebounding. He is acting out of self preservation.

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What Girls Said 0

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