The past couple of days I have been ridiculed for rejecting a date with a beautiful woman since she has a kid. I'm looking for a lasting relationship, and for that to happen I feel that I would have to be a "father" to the child. At least in some degree. I don't want children at this point of my life.
I'm a new business owner and that requires time and effort. I don't see how I could have a proper courtship period with a mother. Being a parent requires even more time than a business. Rigorous planning would have to take place for me to date a mother. Therefore, spontaneity is dead.
I have had the opportunity to have children of my own. I knew that I wanted to have a business. That is why I didn't. If I wanted a child, I wouldn't have practiced safe sex to the extent that I did.( because and condoms before every time) Justified or mean?
Most Helpful Girl
This is neither justified nor mean. It is your personal choice and considering dating and mating is all about our personal choices, this is fine.
I will say you are over-thinking this and I say this because you sound like me. I pre-conceive every possible problem that could come up in any scenario. I like planning and being aware of potential problems but I have also come to realize that I have narrowed my options because I was really convinced that something was more of a problem that it had to be.
So, you say you "don't see how I could have a proper courtship period with a mother." That is right, you don't see it, but doesn't mean it couldn't happen. I am a mother and I take 100% responsibility for my daughter, she has a great father who shares custody 50/50, so no man I ever dated nor my husband have any work involved in her care. I realize that not all single moms fall into that situation.
As far as spontaneity, the weeks that your paramour does not have her child you can be spontaneous, but you are a business owner, so you must already be quite comfortable with restrictions on spontaneity. Owning a business is like caring for a half dozen kids just without the whining. I would say a good number of single moms do not require rigorous planning to date.
I don't see you dating a woman who has 100% custody or issues with her ex that disrupt her life or a woman with more than one child. I also don't see you dating a needy woman, whether she is a mother or not. You sound like you need a woman who can care for herself and her needs to give you the time to run your business.
Again, date who you please, but you just never know, you might end up falling for a gal with a child.