Why call me a clinger if you wanted me to text you more?

I had a guy tell me that I didn't call and text him enough. I thought that was odd because I didn't think guys liked clingy. And in reality...I let him do all the texting and calling. So...I started to text him twice a day...once like around lunch and once around night time. And it was about humorous stuff or I'd tell him I hoped he had a good day at work or whatever...nothing like obsessive clingy. He on the other hand called every single day. Then...our relationship eventually ended. He called me a five star clinger and a crazy b****. Um...? What the heck? I am a really independent person and to make it work I texted because he said he wanted that...now I'm the clinger? What is wrong with him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't sound so crazy to me. You're dealing with a break up here so beware of irrational responses from a young guy who may feel you done wronged him bad. All pretenses of objectivity frequently get tossed out the window at this stage. As long as "clingy" doesn't manifest itself as obsessive or invasive to the point of being co-dependent, it generally just indicates a strong enthusiasm from and for one's partner. And another thing, if said communication fails to involve eye contact or listening skills, there's hardly a chance of it ever reaching the clingy stage.

    Texting as clingy behavior remains impossible while the delete tab waits at your finger tips.

    It's natural to look back across the wreckage of a crashed relationship in the hopes of finding something shiny you can salvage for your memory museum, but it doesn't always work. Look out for bad "breaker upers." They turn vindictive, dwell on issues they can't possibly change, and live in the past, much to the consternation of friends and family who'd rather barf on a new pair of shoes than suffer another bout of all that pissing and moaning.

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What Guys Said 9

  • WHAT?

    Though I don't know you,I would think that based on what you wrote, he was just looking at a way to insult you.

    Trust me, I know Clingy. If you had texted him 5 times a day, and insisted on calling 4 times a day in addition to that, then yes, that would be a bit clingy.

    Now crazy B****, see the "good" thing about that is that it's nice and nondescript. He couldn't make up any more things to say to insult you when you broke it off, so he went for the "crazy B***** defense."

    It's easier to say "all women are needy B******" than to look at why a person thinks like that, or look at why they are attracted to those who are, or why they end up with those girls." Nice and bitter.

    When I broke it off with a girl (she was one who would insist on calling me 4 times a ay in addition to texts, so... I have an idea of what clingy is.) I was the worst boyfriend ever.

    Ok, fine. I'll buy that for the sake of the argument. I'm the worst boyfriend of all time (kind of a cool title, though... I mean, THAT would be a lot of work to get that title!)...

    so why does she keep coming back? And if I'm the worst boyfriend ever, then that shows a problem on her part for wanting the worst boyfriend ever, as much as it's my fault for being the worst boyfriend ever. (I don't get how I somehow won the title from all the boys that beat their women, or constantly cheat, or mooch off their girlfriends, but, hey.)

    See, ya gotta have a good idea of when he's right, and when he's wrong, and be confident in that. I was a spectacular boyfriend, and if she can't recognize that, then, maybe, just maybe, someone else will. Now if she had said I was too cautious, she might have a small point.

    You kind of have to laugh it off a little. It's annoying, but when you know it's so wrong that it's ridiculous, and that he's grasping at pathetic straws, then it's fine to laugh it off.

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  • If he told you "call me three times a day" and you called him twice a day AND complained you didn't call him enough...We could assume he is demanding, clingy, controlling or whatever,...at least it would make sense.

    But to tell someone "call me three times a day" then only receive two calls a day AND then complain you are clingy and calling him too much? Doesn't make sense at all. My humble opinion is he was trying to mess with your head...I can't tell you why...Only he knows why. But here's the thing...Does it matter anymore? Nope. He is out of your hair and now he has to look for someone knew to screw around with. He's not your problem anymore.

    To answer your question: He called you a clinger because he couldn't think of anything better to say..Maybe to him being called a clinger is the worst possible insult you can ever tell anyone. Imagine that, he may have been trying to hurt and insult you...Do you really want to waste your time figuring him out?

    The feelings you should be feeling now is gratitude...He is out of your life and now you have the space to look for someone new. Move on and file it under experience.

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  • I'll bet you are going to extremes, no one drive a car from zero to 150 in ten seconds.

    you gotta find a middle ground.

    no one likes clinging, and no one likes being ignored. I guess for some the line is thinner than others.

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    • Thanks. I actually told him that I didn't want to be "that" clingy girl. He said no you aren't like other (insert university name) girls. I said fine...you tell me how much...yes I actually said that lol. He told me two to three times a day...so that is what I did...I texted twice mostly..some days once. He called once a day...if I didn't answer he kept calling. Yeah maybe he thought it was extreme...I was just going off of what he told me.

  • Forget about it, no use in wasting time thinking about it now since its over between you and him right? He just took the "jackass" way out of the relationship. You're fine.

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  • You apparently didn't get the exact number of times you were supposed to call him in a day right. You should have really sat down and thought this out before you started texting away like a mad girl who's never texted before.

    haha

    I think it's time to move on and find a guy like me that took a course at university on how exactly the vagina works sexually.

    You want to see obsessed? Just look at some of the texts I've received after I worked my magic fingers on some girl.

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  • forget him, it seems like a few gears stopped working up there, if you know what I mean. move on and find someone better, I'm positive you will!

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  • woah woah woah... wait, he calls you clingy becuz you txtd him 2 times a day?... are you serious? me and a girl I like, were not even going out, txt each other probly at least 20 times ..

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  • both of you guys should...well people in general should text and call the equal amount of time but even so the person that text or calls more loves or likes you more

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    • I agree that calling should generally be equal.

      But I disagree that the one who calls/texts more loves more. I know it might be odd, but I have a HUGE phobia of phones, so [when he had a phone] it was a rare day when I'd call my boyfriend. [He no longer has a phone, so I'm no longer able to call him anyway] But that doesn't mean that I don't miss him/wonder what he's up to/wish to speak to him.

      ...sorry if that was confusing, I worded it oddly =s

    • How do you disagree? you are talking about your boyfriend not about how a person who calls loves more

  • he was just trying to say something that would add reason to HIS being clingy

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What Girls Said 7

  • lol that doesn't sound right. he asked you to do it right? well, I 'de text him and say 'you wanted me to text me, remember?'-wow. I really don't know what's wrong with him since I don't know him personally--but maybe he just said that to act like he's the one in control.

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    • Thanks you. haha. I found it funny too. He also made up stuff to my friend saying I tried to make a move on him and he pushed me away and I cried. haha...again...What?? Basically I graduated in December and he is still in school. He told me several times he'd never had someone he liked leave him.....he kept asking me to fail so I could stay at school with him...ok well I graduated. I moved back home. He didn't like distance...he'd been cheated on before. I just guess he is not mature.

    • That sucks he's been cheated on. I've had an ex who did that to me

      but I agree, that's immature to expect you to fail school just for him---that's kinda selfish. anyway, take care^_^

  • He only said that because he knew that would be your weakness (since you were trying to avoid having that title in the beginning). He obviously has low self-esteem and feels the need to call his gf's names when they become his exes... But You know you're not a clinger, and I'm sure he knows it too (even though he'll never admit it)...So why even worry what he says? You don't have to prove anything to anyone, you know who you are... You just move on and find yourself a man to respect you.

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  • You're just dealing with a dolt who is saying those things to make himself feel better and not so much a loser. He just sounds immature.

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  • well he just sounds like an idiot, he's just trying to make you seem like the clingy one even though it's him that is clingy. just forget about him, if he calls you names he doesn't deserve you, you can do much better :)

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  • it sounds like he is insane. I'd move on.

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  • The man got issues! Find somebody else that don't make stupid statements like that!

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    • Haha. I like that. Plain and simple. Thank you for your input.

    • No problem, every woman deserves better!

  • he is just trying to get at you silly

    dw bout it :]

    ur awesome he isnt

    :]

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