I'm afraid to move on cause I don't want to lose him?

So the thing is like there's this guy who I love, but I don't want to be with him but all I want is for him to be there, like be my friend and be able to hang and talk to me, but we dated before and now we meet regularly and we have sex but I don't think we will date,

I'm ready to move to another guy and really date someone but I want him in my life as well, kinda like a rachel ,ross thing :S

I don't think he is ready to date anyone cause he is in college etc but I know he likes me at heart to , I don't want to wait for him cause he does take me for granted, I'm just so confused and have mixed emotions and I have stronger feelings for him than he has for me :( I just don't know anymore..


Most Helpful Guy

  • This big confused mess is why you shouldn't sleep with people you aren't in a relationship with.

    You are keeping him around with sex, but you don't want a relationship with him, but want him around to be your "emotional boyfriend" when you need him, and can only make that happen with sex. No wonder you are screwed up emotionally.

    Bottom line: if you aren't going to be in a relationship with this guy, you need to let him go. If he won't stay around and be your friend without sex, then you need to accept that and let him go. Besides, if you get into a relationship with another guy, it's HIS job to be there for you and do those things for you anyway.

    You can't have it both ways.


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What Guys Said 3

  • You're putting you both through hell. Take six months away from each other. You don't need the confusion and he deserves to not see you with someone else. Then you can meet and honestly decide what you both want. No more sex. That really gums things up.

  • Sad to say, your impression that you are ready to move on is inaccurate. Everything you said that you feel about wanting him around and involved in your life shows you are still hung up on him. If you truly were ready to move on, you would be able to let him go. The sex is not helping either. This goes well beyond the train wreck that was Ross and Rachel. The key is, do you have the strength to be honest with yourself about what's really going on?

  • It would be best for both of you to let go.


What Girls Said 1

  • It makes me feel confused just reading what you wrote here.

    You love him, don't want to be with him, but you want him to be available to you.

    Most guys really don't want to have female friends around just for somebody to talk to. I think that only happens on TV.

    It sort of sounds like he is using you for sex and you are allowing it and it's impacting you emotionally.


    Try to date other people so you can get off of him.