Why did he pretend to be sick to get out of hooking up with me?

Was he nervous? Can someone explain his behavior to me and why he won't answer me now?

This question is more so I can just understand what happened, not so I can pester him with questions or try to get back with him:

When I was in college there was a guy that was on the same sports team as me. He was always nice to me and we never had any problems, but we weren't exactly close friends either since the team was so large. I had a crush on him nearly 4 years, but never said anything because I never thought he would never have anything for me. I did notice though (and my friends were convinced he liked me and was too scared to tell me) that he would text me to come and bring our mutual friends down to his frat on the weekends when he was kind of drunk. I knew what I wanted it to mean, but I wasn't convinced that meant he liked me. So these interactions went on for years.

So during these 2 years, 2 weird situations happened. One night he texted just me to come down and play pong with his friend I knew. I went down to his frat house and hung out with the guys and when he asked me to stay over and it came down to making a move on me, he "pretended" he was sick and never came back to me and just left me in his dorm room.

A few months later he messaged me on Facebook and we started talking regularly and I ended up going to visit him at home for 3 days. His mom loved me and was trying to get us to sleep in the same bed together (awkward!). I found out later from a friend of his that he was mortified she did that. I left with him saying he wanted to come visit me sometime, and when I asked him to, he told me he wasn't into me.

The second situation happened nearly a year later when he texted me to come over and when I got there, he said "hold on I have to go to the bathroom" and never came back. He texted me from the bathroom and said it was a bad idea and it shouldn't be something done when drinking. I told him to never talk to me again and I was sick of it.

I'm completely over him, but any time I've made general conversation year later, he won't respond.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Ok, you TOLD him to "never talk to me again!".

    And now you're complaining that he does exactly that?

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    • Regardless of that, that answer still doesn't explain his behavior of avoiding me.

  • Sometimes guys are just cowards when it comes to basic confrontation - so they lie to get out of obligations.

    Sometimes the guy isn't a coward, and it's the girl who is an extreme psycho nut job. In which case again, it is better to lie to get out of an obligation.

    It sounds like in your case, the guy was just a plain coward.

    However, the story detail of the mother trying to get you two in the same bed, makes me think that the guy is gay. He's trying not to be but can't bring himself to sleep with you. And the mother is desperate to try and make sure he's not gay, by putting him in bed with a willing girl.

    i think you're dealing with a closeted homosexual, who is desperate to believe that he can will the gay away.

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    • Interesting. You're not the first one to have this theory about him either! ha ha The only issue with that is that he had no problem hooking up or going out with other girls at our college. In fact, he hooked up with a different girl on my sports team a few months prior...he just never could act on it with me.

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    • Haha I see your point! I know he's actually gone through with it because the girl has mentioned it to the rest of our team and how embarrassed she was that it happened. As far as other girls, I've overheard him talk about a different girl and what happened after a party (although I guess he could be lying to his guy friends!).

    • If you know any gay guys, you could ask them if their gaydar has ever gone off around him.

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