Should I bother asking for another date or just let it go?

So I have recently started liking a girl quite a bit. We have gone on 2 dates now and we both enjoyed it. Even when I text her or chat her on Facebook, she seems happy to hear from me. However, when I first asked her to go on a date, she said that she wanted to let me know that she is still getting over a guy. She had dated the guy for a year off and on without actually becoming bf/gf, then stopped dating for a few months, and started once more for another 3 months before school which is when I met her a month later. She never messages me first which is disappointing. Even when she does message me back, it's not long messages at all. But when I talked to her about the guy she's getting over, she said they still talk every day even tho she never messages me. Should I bother asking for another date or just let it go?

Updates:
So I realized I forgot something that an answer reminded me of. First, the reason they stopped dating again a second time is because they are now going to different universities so they won't see each other much at all anymore. Second, I talked to her about it saying why does she want to leave him if it's somewhat worked so far and she said she was tired of him never wanting to be official and tired of hearing "it's just not the right time" and she's ready to get over him

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Eh, if she doesn't want you; I'll have you. You're cute.

    Lol - but seriously; it's a tricky situation. I can be hard at times to move on from the past; especially one that never really ended because it never really began. She'll have a lot of what ifs floating around in her head. Trust me, I know. I've been in an on off never boyfriend girlfriend thing for a year now and sometimes when I meet someone new; it's hard to say yes.

    But eventually she'll have to move on. And it looks like she's starting to do that. The fact that she went out with you twice is good. She's not just saying yes, then flaking out last minute because she changes her mind. She obviously likes you and enjoys the time you spend together.

    Honestly you need to think about what you want to do. Do you want to ask her out again? bare in mind that this could be a fairly long transition period from two people getting to know each other, to becoming a relationship; with her needing to move on more fully. I wouldn't worry about the not talking first thing - when I like a guy I'm always a bit shy about sending the first text, or saying hey first when I see he's online. So maybe it's like that. It's a lot easier talking to someone you have a past with sometimes - it doesn't necessarily mean you still see a future with them.

    If you like her enough, go for it.

    But if you're looking for a relationship that's maybe a bit easier off the bat, then maybe lay back a little and see if she comes to you - or if you find someone else in the meantime.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Don't message her first. Back off a little bit. See if she chases you. But, honestly any relationship you start with her right now is clouded by her trying to get over the other guy, and to be frank there's a possibility that she's trying to forget the other guy with you, if he's still on her mind. So I say give her a little space, see if she misses you and go on from there. Because I mean, to me I've been in that situation. I've liked this guy for four years (who never liked me back), and every guy who's liked me in that time period was this way to inflate that shattered ego I guess. I don't know, it's probably completely different situations, but just from my experience. Be careful who you give your heart out to

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  • I almost never message people first...

    my besties..

    my other friends..

    the guy I'm dating..

    guys I like when single...

    it's just the way I am...

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    • Really? Why not? Do you never have the urge to just talk to a guy you like?

    • sometimes.. but then, they often message me before I think to message them.. more often, the times I want to message someone, is when I know they can't..

  • id say, "great! if you get over your boyfriend, let me know, caz I'm interested in you, if you works things out with him, then good luck! " I would not spend more time on that if I were you.

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  • I'd suggest you let it go. Find someone who's really interested in you and as invested in the relationship!

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  • I would keep in contact with her. She is still getting over the guy that she is probably still interested (sorry), but she will eventually either completely give up or they will get back together yet again. Maybe go a day or two without messaging her first. See if she does it. If not, then message her a day or two later. Give her some space and see what she does with it. :)

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  • I'd still talk to her cause it sounds like she might be interested in you, but I would back off on the dates. It sounds like she is still very hung up on this other guy and that's not good for a relationship.

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    • if she is ready to get over him and you're sure o that, them keep dating her and see where things go

  • let her go... I on the other hand am very available!... lol

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  • Bro drop that if she's not giving you head she's not worth it. Or even talking to different guys while you two are trying to be together indicates she's not as interested in being with you :(

    Ah well, your cute enough to get another girl ^^

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    • Hahaha. Well thank you :) OK sounds good

    • lol I let my dude friend write the first half :P I was cracking up when I finally saw it ha ha

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