Guys help...why would he treat me like this?

why would a guy you've been dating ask you to marry him then two weeks later say he just wants to be friends?. he told me he loves me but isn't inlove with me. so we did the friends thing he still calls or text me everyday. last Monday he was drunk kept trying to kiss me said he really misses me. so Tuesday I text and wanted to ask him about something and he replies don't start the over analyze stuff.so I left it alone he text me on Thursday for my b-day came & met us for drinks. I was drunk gave him a hug bye.Friday he calls & says he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore even on a friendly basis cause I was hanging on him & I crossed the line, what is he talking about? so I just said fine & left, he texted me Saturday says now I hear you stopped by mike a few weeks ago askin bout me what's wrong with you?. then sends if I bother his friends about him again I'm gonna need a lawyer.i didn't respond to any of his messages.this was a mutual friend that asked if I talked to him & how he was doing, he also told this friend about surgery I'm having that I didn't tell anyone but him . last time we broke up he started a fight & of course it was all my fault. what is this guys problem if he texts about my surgery should I just ignore it? how can you go from wanting to spend your life with someone to nothing to do with them?


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What Guys Said 2

  • He opened himself up emotionally to you and you did not respond in a way that made him feel comfortable and felt you did not feel the same way and were just being nice to him not to hurt his feelings. He sensed you were just wanting attention and a companion and not a relationship that a monogamous man would desire when stating such to his girlfriend. He wished to established he was a good man, that he respected you and was capable of responding to your needs but you never made it show it made a significant difference to you emotionally whether he did more or less for you and realized he was getting nothing he truly wanted or needed trying so hard to you. he was working in favor of his ideal of what you wanted and realized his ideal did not equate with a response so he did the smart thing and gradually backed off. He does not wish to be a servant of yours in a life where his emotional needs are not met. Hopefully friends of his made it clear to him to back off to save himself from a dynamic that could only hurt him and he listened. Its not that you are wrong or bad but you are the one he wished he was with and wished cared for him the way HE needed t and obviously your focus remains on what he gives you and not what you have given him...its a smart move on his part. Sad for you but smart of him.

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  • IMO, this guy has some VERY serious personal issues. This is NOT normal, and his behavior as you describe it is pretty erratic. Might he be bi-polar? An alcoholic or drug addict? You rarely have such confused, erratic behavior without some serious mental issue at work.

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