Equal Rights for Women! But . . . Umm . . . I still want HIM TO PAY.

There's a prevalent American attitude that welcomes MORE benefits and rights that women demand to enjoy and be entitled to, yet at the same time, chooses to keep a tactful silence as a means to reject the corresponding fair-share of duties and liabilities associated with true "equality."

I'm trying my best to make this question unisex, and answerable by both men and women.

Guys, how do you feel about a girl who expects, or prefers, that you pay for the lion's share of dating expenses? Yes, that means that a girl may "make her own money" or "offer to pay" or "actually pay for stuff here and there," but at the end of the say, when all is said and done, if you sit down to take a look at how much you each contribute towards your dating expenses, she has somehow managed to have you pick up the lion's share of the tab. Are you more likely to be in a sexual/romantic relationship with such a woman, or less?

Girls, your question is NOT whether you expect a man to pay, or prefer that he pays, or whether you pay for dating expenses. We all know that would offer a way-too-easy-back-door-to-escape from. Instead, your question is: how do you feel about a man who does not pay disproportionately more than you do for dating expenses? That's right. If a guy isn't picking up more of the tab than you are, on average or over time, does that impact how you feel about him in a negative way? Do you think less of guys who don't cover more of the expenses of dating than you do? Do you think more of guys who pay more than you do towards dating? Are you more likely to be in a sexual/romantic relationship with such a man, or less?

  • I am more likely to feel negatively about a (W who expects a M to pay more) or (M who pays less than a W) for dating expenses, and am thus less likely to be in a sexual/romantic relationship with such a person.
    40% (2)92% (11)76% (13)Vote
  • I am more likely to feel positively about a (W who expects a M to pay more) or (M who pays less than a W) for dating expenses, and am thus more likely to be in a sexual/romantic relationship with such a person.
    60% (3)8% (1)24% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I couldn't answer, at some point I may pick randomly because I'm interested in the answers.

    I'm happy to pay if she appreciates it.

    I'm happy to split.

    Things that are frustrating?

    - wants her career to be respected the same as mine, even though I made sacrifices to earn more and she's doing a glorified hobby

    - doesn't appreciate me contributing more, since she seems to view it as a lucky fluke that happened because I happen to randomly earn more then her

    - fully expects me to pay more.

    Basically I see a lot of women who pick stupid jobs that pay nothing, assume I chose a job for the same dumb reasons they did, but I got lucky and earn more and hence should pay because that's fair - but don't appreciate it at all.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I would have a hard time dealing with a woman like that, to be honest. Mostly because I can't help but feel like I'm dragging a useless corpse along the ground, or worse, being taken advantage of and used, if she isn't putting forth 50/50 of all measurable responsibilities.

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    • At the end of the day I can't deal with a woman who I feel is holding me back in any way, shape or form. This is the reason I don't like girls with delicate features and this is the reason I can't deal with a girl who expects me to either pay for most or take on the bulk of the measurable responsibilities. I also have a history of being taken advantage of monetarily by women who claimed to love me.

  • Men are quite sick of the double standards and bullsh*t we deal with and the consistent ignoring of such things too -_- always the ones to initiate, always the ones expected to pay, always the ones expected to do this and that. It's frustrating as f***.

    And equal rights for women... pfft they have equal rights just fine in the developed nations of the world. The ones bitching now are ignoring the fault of their own gender (in terms of the pay gap ignoring that men negotiate for a higher pay far more often than women and they even do so at the very start of a job) and really just want domination/superiority instead of equality.

    So no, if a woman is demanding equal rights, but still expects me to do all the work in a relationship or paying or whatnot? Ya, she can go f*** herself.

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  • If she agreed to pay half of the date and isn't a drag the whole date, I'd call it a good date and probably ask her out again.

    In reality I'm a bit old fashioned and pay for the whole date, but then I also decide where we eat and what we will do on the date. After a good date I would find it a good if I at least get a kiss on the cheek and a hug. A kiss would be awesome though.

    I still take my wife on dates and still pay for everything, the after rewards are better then before though. She did kiss me on our first date, so I consider that an awesome date.

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  • I'm OK with paying for dates but that's because I reject the most of ideas which revolve around feminism, although I won't take any girl to a super-fancy, expensive restaurant if I feel like that she might like the luxury more than me - and what you described in the question title pretty much matches it.

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  • Perhaps the guy can put that in his prenup that she only gets the percentage of what she contributes if the marriage fails. So if it is a 60/40 relationship, she would only get 40% of the stuff in the end. I think that is the fair thing.

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  • I don't have a problem paying for dating expenses...but she will get major points if she insists on paying a little.(at least offer to pay) It just means that she is classy...respectful, caring, and has high interest in me. Its also likely that her parents raised her right.

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  • Defiantly A. I would have no problem paying on the first few dates or maybe special occasions, but I'm not made of money. She should pitch in more too. It also depends on the financial situation off the people dating. If the guy makes less or the same amount it is unfair for him to pay the lion's share of dating expenses.

    P.S. You profile pic reminds me of dancing. link

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  • To steal a line from Bo Burnham: For every dollar man makes, a woman makes 70 cents. That's not fair. The man's only left with 30.

    Honestly, I don't really mind paying more than the girl. I don't want to pay for everything all of the time but I like picking up the tab on dates and special occasions. I don't know that I would go so far as to say that it makes me more likely to enter a relationship with someone though. If a girl wants to pay her own way I'm not going to take offense.

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  • id want to split the bill most of the time. If I bring someone on a date and pay the whole thing I would like it if they asked me on a date and payed for the whole bill. I wouldn't want to go out with someone that expects me to pay

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  • I personally have no issue picking up a tab for dinner or what not as long as I know it is appreciated and I am not being used for it as a result. I see way too often attractive girls who think that they're the hottest things alive and feel they deserve special treatment because of it. No one in my opinion is entitled to have things paid for them in any facet of life, whether single or dating. More that it should be offered that it will be met in the middle at first even as an offer. If I see a girl offer to go halves, I will not accept the offer and will pay because she at least made the attempt. If I am paying all the time and have no romantic/sexual connection or relationship with the person, it just doesn't work.

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  • I get the notion but feel it creates disposition. Sort of how how the male chivalry role died out (it sadly doesn't work or at least so I believe. Mostly because guys don't know how, sometimes including me, to be a gentlemen. We all know there's a fine line between a kiss ass and a gentleman).

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  • I hate the hypocritical notion, but I have to put up with paying unless I don't plan on having a future with her. As a man, if you decide to go half and half on everything, you best expect to lower your chances of finding a woman dramatically.

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  • I believe in Equal rights

    it's ridiculous that some people don't, it's the 21st century not the stone-ages

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  • Give this girl a good rating, all of her topics have been good for what I know.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I would think that he's using mi if he's paying less or nothing at all. I've seen it happen =/ it's really f***ed up and I wouldn't want to be in that situation. lol. It's something you have to talk about when you're dating someone. Everyone may feel differently about the subject. Some people may feel perfectly fine picking up the check and others may have a problem. Idk, I feel awkward at times when it comes to that conversation =/ lol because money is always a messy situation. Splitting it up helps. If one person pays for one day and you get the next one. Or if you go out somewhere to movies or an activity one can pay for that and someone else can pay for the other half of the date. But in the end if he was paying little to nothing I'd really wouldn't have too much interest towards him. lol

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  • I pay for my stuff. he pays for his. period. in relationships where love and respect are shared mutually. money does not signify ANYTHING. it proves nothing.

    in addition, I don't personally know any women who expect or want the guy to pay more towards relationship than she does pay.

    i just know a lot of guys who complain about women _expecting_ the guy to pay more than she does. guys who complain that women won't let men pay for them. And you.

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  • I don't like it when a guy pays for too much because it makes me feel like he will be expecting more from me sexually and sooner than I'm possibly ready

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