How should I handle this situation with a friend?

First off, this girl lives 200+ miles away so we only communicate through Facebook or text. Sometimes I text her too much or message her too much so lately, for the past few months, I ask her how I am doing and she knows that I am referring to giving her appropriate space. Tonight I asked her how I was doing and she said 'Pretty good, however back off the texts a bit because it runs my bill up.'. I of course asked if she no longer had unlimited and she said 'I do but I just think sending/receiving 200+ texts a day is a bit much.', just so you know I only texted her a total of maybe 150 texts in the past week. I only know this cause I deleted my texts today. I then asked her if she wanted me to just Facebook her or only text her around 9. She said to Facebook her at 9 if possible. I am getting the feeling that I am either annoying her or she wants me to back off. She did just get back from a church retreat though so that could have significance though it will only last a few weeks and her current boyfriend is being a bit creeper and clingy. I once had this girls interest and sometimes I think it might still be there but really suppressed, what should I do? I think I am gonna lay low for a bit and ask her if she wants me in or out of her life, we have known each other for quite a while now (as in 4 or 5 years).


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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, if her boyfriend is being too clingy or being a creeper, she probably didn't want another one bugging her with texts. You should lay low for a minute or text one a week or day. You can also just give her a good morning text. Better yet, give her a surprise visit one day. Then you guys can hang out and see where you guys are at (or if she likes you or thinks you're annying). Hope that helps!

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    • please, don't encourage this kind of behavior. she's sick and tired of him always texting her and then he should show up unannounced? it's just insane.

      @qa you need to stop texting her. like completely, until she texts you. and even then you need to be relatively reserved. text her back once and that's it. and if she asks you why you don't text her you just say "i'm busy..." because right now, you're acting like an irritating puppy.

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    • I figured laying low would be my best option because if she was completely annoyed at me she wouldn't have given me a time that would work to talk to her, right? I do beleive her current boyfriend is a factor though or she is trying to grow out of texting people (or just grow up in general). As for the random visit, she always says that she hates surprises and I am afraid that might be a bit creepy :/ (whether she is lieing or not, who knows).

    • haha I say just trust what she says in any case, just to be safe

What Guys Said 1

  • i think you're out of your mind. get a life or something.

    "I once had this girls interest and sometimes I think it might still be there but really suppressed, what should I do?" - A HA HA, my god, this is just amazing. the ego. "suppressed." amazing.

    please, if there was this "interest" in the past from her side you *killed* it. it's six feet deep, buddy. who's gonna read all that nonsensical babble of yours all the time? ha?

    she can't stand you any more. it's over.

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    • Let the man have his ego, no offense intended. He's a dude and everyone, dudes especially have egos. I do agree he should be preoccupied with something else. Understand that he may be just confused about this and "in the moment " acted impulsively. What happened happened. Don't try to call him out on it. Again, I don't mean to offend anyone nor take sides. I understand both of your sides and is just showing you his side of the story.

    • I can understand where you are coming from but one way of thinking isn't a unniversal theory for all girls. For all I know she could be crushing on me still but since there is 200+ mile distance I can only go off what I assume from texting/messaging. Unfortunately it is a one sided story because I lack the observational behavior that is a tell-tale sign of interest or lack of interest.

    • that's actually where the visit comes in. Unfortunately, she's showing she's simply not up for anything. Whether she likes you or not is, as you said, a mystery. don't push it.

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