Am I right to test her?

Here is the backing story. I have been seeing this girl for about 4 months. Everything seemed well, she responded to my texts and calls. However I was the one who was only the one who initiated the texts and dates we go on after all this time. Although she mostly agreed to go on dates, it felt like a one way street as I was the one planning them. I was told she was quite a shy person and so I told her my true intentions for a relationship to let her know I'm not playing games.

This one way street issue had worsen a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to set up a date with her but she said no because she was busy. I said that was okay but clearly stated I was disappointed and that I missed her. The following week I asked her out again but she did not reply. I gave it a few days to test her out and she never replied. I was doubting the relationship. On the 6th day I went to find out why and she said she missed my text. Even though she is the passive type was it wrong for me to test her like this? Is it wrong for me to expect her to initiate some communication or even take 30 seconds of her time to say why she missed it after I made known to her that I wasn't happy? After getting to know each other for 4 months I expected her to reciprocate more but she didn't. Sounds like a player to me. To be honest I did not feel like she gave me any attention or appreciation after all I've given her. It felt like she didn't even care and was playing games. Was it wrong to test her what her real intentions were?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, I might try one more time to see if she'll respond, but she sounds like she's lost a bit of interest. When I'm genuinely interested in a guy, especially one I've been seeing for four months, I act way more excited and responsive than that. Not saying all girls act the same, but I'm pretty shy and timid when it comes to guys, too. So if he's been taking the initiative the entire time and making it that easyl, I'd be grateful as hell. Don't know what her problem is, man.

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What Girls Said 1

  • She's just not that into you. If she wanted you, she would have tried harder. She's shy and so she doesn't know how to tell you to back off, but she is rather passive so she's just trying to ignore you. You seem to be coming off a bit too strong as well, and that may be a turn off for a shy person. She's just not that into you, but someone will be texting/calling you someday to ask you on dates, confirm them, and then maybe even call you after the date, it just won't be her.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Doesn't sound like you were testing her so much as just giving her a chance to respond to you. If she can't make any effort to want to spend time with you, then perhaps it might be time for you to cut your losses.

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