Guys, should I text/call him or wait for him to call me?

So I recently started talking to this really nice guy who is doing his residency for oncology via a dating site. 2 nights ago we were supposed to Skype. He texted me at 8:00 and said he just had to get a bite to eat and we could Skype later so I was waiting for him to text me to Skype and he never texted me. The next day he apologized and said he was feeling under the weather. Then last night he again wanted to Skype and told me the same thing about going to eat. He never texted me and he has not texted me at all today. I mean I know he is working a lot, but I don't see how he has no time at all to shoot me a text or call me up.

He seemed really interested in me and told me I was gorgeous and asked why I was still single and claims he wants something serious with a sweet girl so I don't think he is un-interested. My question, as stupid as it may sound, is should I text or call him or just wait for him to contact me? Thanks :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not sure what this guy is up to, but what you just described isn't really a dating thing, it's common courtesy. Once is enough as long as there is an apology (it's basically a standup in online dating surely?). Exact same thing twice in a row?

    Nup. He's either:

    A) got some sort of game plan for first real contact

    B) Is terrified to talk to you in person

    C) Just doesn't care enough right now (not you, probably the whole internet dating sphere)

    All isn't lost because there is no relationship at all there yet, but here's my suggestion: Wait for him to contact you and keep going in your search. If he does, maybe ask him what happened last time. Respond when you have time to. Not instantly. Don't act like you don't care about missing the Skype call. But act like you've been quite happy doing other things other than waiting on him.

    You haven't lost anything, and you don't want to sound to keen on a guy, much like I'm sure you don't like it when a guy pesters you a bit too much. So I say wait.

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    • Well he wants to grab lunch on Friday and maybe see a movie he said, but now I wonder if he will stand me up for that too. I just like Skype because you can validate that the person is who they say they are and you can tell more about a person watching their face and listening to their voice than just texting and typing. Thanks for the advice :).

    • Yeah well that's the thing isn't it? He hasn't exactly given you confidence in the whole thing from the get go. Give it a try. There could be a real reason behind it.

    • Yeah it just sucks waiting for a call/text haha. I mean I know you're not supposed to wait for a guy to text, but every girl does :P. Even if we are busy we are still thinking about when he will text us. Not that I know and care about the guy so much, but I just want to know if something might be there. And I hope there is a real reason behind it.

What Guys Said 5

  • How does one do an oncology residency on a dating website? Lol I had to. As a med school hopeful, let me tell you that residencies are extremely brutal and can turn a person out of whack so it doesn't surprise me that he's all over the place. Seriously, theyre fatiguing and consume the grand majority of a persons day/life. I say give the guy the benefit of the doubt and wait and see if he comes around. If he said all that to you, I think he's interested. Wait and see if he ever gets back to you or if you two connect on Skype again. If you don't hear from him, shoot him a text. Dating a future doctor takes a special kind of woman so this behavior is normal for a residency student. Trust your instincts, be patient and if you don't hear from him for a long time, even after you've texted him, then move on.

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    • haha I know! I saw that typo after I submitted the question and it bothers me that I can't change it :P. And thanks :)

    • Haha you're welcome! Just treat this as any other dating situation, but keep what I said in mind. If it doesn't work out or you feel like he's dodging you, find another guy.

  • This guy is no doubt saying the SAME things to dozens of girls on the datng site and has only so much time to actuallly text them, so maybe yoour turn just didn't come up yesterday!

    Don't have too many expectations with a guy like this; so many girls want to marry a doctor, you know, that hasn't changed. He's snowed under with cybertexts!

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    • He doesn't have it listed on his profile so I don't know about that. And it was plenty of fish where 99% of the people are creeps. So I doubt he's snowed under.

    • I still think he's saing the same things to dozens.! He sure seems busy, doesn't he?

  • I suggest you should wait for him, if he is really interested for you he will text you. I had the same problem with dating websites I used to message a lot of girls and they said I will text you but none of them did except one of them with which I speak for weeks and she messages me too by herself.

    Conclusion: don't waste your time and being thoughtful for guys, if they really want you they will try to reach you wherever you are

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  • CALL HIM I hate texting and I tell women off the bat I don't text me even a old fashion love note is better then a text or email but that just me

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  • No. You should call me instead. I'll be waiting for your call :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • Personally I would wait for him, if he likes you and all then he will contact you but there is no harm in texting him once in a while but if he is going to keep putting things off to talk to you then you might want to reconsider this whole thing. So there is no harm in texting him but if he keeps mucking you about then I would just not bother with it!

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  • Internet dating is hard like that because you don't know who else they might be talking to...

    I think the best thing you can do in that situation is put yourself out there - send the text before someone else does. What do you have to lose?

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  • I don't think you should text him first. Leave him to initiate it, afterall, he's the one that brought up the idea of wanting to Skype with you.

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  • You definitely need to wait for him. If he doesn't make something happen in the next week, then forget about him. He's just not that into you.

    Seriously girl, don't waste your time on being hopeful. Guys are incredibly simple. If he likes you, he'll make it known. It won't be hard to figure out.

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  • WAIT! I always ruin things by texting them too much lol.

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  • wait, I think he is blowing you off.

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