Always have bad luck with guys, how can I fix that??

So I've had an interesting year, before this year, I've never even had a crush on a guy...I'm on my second crush (I confessed my feeling to the first guy only to be rejected) I've been on two dates (if they can be considered dates) The first date was at the zoo, he brought his mother and I felt like a 3rd wheel the whole time. The second date was just this past Tuesday (oct. 9th) The guy bought my movie ticket, said he had to go to the restroom then ditched me. Yeah...those are the only dates I've ever been on.

The guy I have a crush on is really sweet and kind, just an all around nice guy...Amazing sense of humor, not to mention how passionate he is about film and movies (he's a college senior getting his BA in film, he wants to be a director and producer) The thing is, he's a really busy guy and I'm not sure he would have time for a relationship. I'm not going to be one of those girls that would complain that he didn't spend enough time with me. We hung out every night this week (sorta) I went up to the school every night because I knew he was going to be there working on something, and I would try and help him out anyway I possibly could. We also have some good conversations, and I feel like he enjoys my company, because the other night, we stayed at the school until closing (midnight) and he asked me if I wanted to go to Denny's with him to continue his conversation...we didn't leave Denny's until almost 2 30am.

My problem is that I've had really bad luck as mentioned above when I've approached guys, that now I'm too scared to, I don't have the courage...I know that the answer will always be no unless I ask...but how can I?

Updates:
Well, bad luck strikes again...I was talking to my crush again last night when out of the blue, he tells me that he has a friend from high school that if the opportunity is given, he'd set me up with. And of course he says this right as I was thinking that I had the opportunity to tell him my feelings. Now there's no way I can tell him...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What the heck?! Your 2nd date ditched you at the movies? As in he just went home or something and left you alone at the movies? What a bum!

    I don't think you should ask him just yet. It sounds like this might be fresh, so don't be quick to ask him anything about if he likes you. Just continue being you around him, continue hanging out with him and whatnot. Let him be the one to say something first regarding his interest in you. All the best! :)

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    • Thanks, my crush is the one who cheered me up after the 2nd date, it was the same day he asked me to go to Denny's with him, He had no idea how good it felt to have someone want me around, especially after being ditched on a date earlier that day. and I still can't believe we were at Denny's for about 2 and a half hours, mostly just talking...

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    • @update,I'm sorry to hear that :(

      I still think you should tell him. The worst that could happen is that he might say he doesn't feel the same way about you, that's all, so I still think you should let him know your feelings about him.

    • I'm not sure I see the point in telling him now, I'm positive tat he doesn't feel the same

What Guys Said 5

  • Sorry, but I want to punch that second movie guy on his face seriously.

    don't ever underestimate yourself ,

    you're beautiful naturally ^_^

    don't pay attention to that girl answerer .

    just be yourself and confident , get some new hairstyles or something, if you feel bored about it.

    but most of all you deserve better and if you think that life is testing you then just wait patiently for perfect catch. good luck

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  • I don't know why your luck seems to be so bad. Maybe you've got odd standards and only like the kind of guy that would bring his mom along/ditch you. Maybe you're not looking for men who are strong and substantial enough. It sounds like you learned this and started to go after another guy who is, but he's too busy. Really, the best thing to do is keep looking, but also try to keep talking to this guy, and if things get serious, you can make your mind up then. I wouldn't suggest sleeping with anyone until you know where they want things to go, though.

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    • Trust me, I'm not sleeping with anyone until I'm married

    • I'll leave it up to the words of old uncle Ben from Spider-man, the 90's animated series

      "Good or bad luck is nothing more than the right or wrong mix of opportunity, preparation, and confidence"

  • It's hard to conjecture why your luck with the two crushes you mentioned hasn't been good. It could be different expectations on his/your part, different desires in looks and personality, could be different likes/dislikes. I think the key with the current guy is you have to see if he considers just a friend with like interests or someone he'd like to go out with. Only way to do this is suggest a date opportunity like dinner. Having "enough time for each other" s not really a legitimate reason for two people interested in each other to keep them apart. Prioritization of what things are important and desirable to someone will define where they spend their time.

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    • Well, I also don't want to slow him down with his work, He's an extremely hard worker, and if me and him were to get together, I'd feel horrible if I kept him from his studies...even if it was his choice. I think I'd feel better if I could help him out in anyway, like helping with the set up, reading lines, or something...that way I can spend time with him and he gets his work done

  • It sounds like the guy you went to denny's with has a thing for you. He wouldn't stay with you until 2:30am if he didn't like you. Just keep doing what you're doing with this guy and wait for him to make his move. Keep good eye contact smile show you appreciate him and lots of playful touching.

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    • Not sure about the touching, but I do make a lot of eye contact, and I've noticed that he makes a lot of eye contact with me (something I'm not used to)

    • I just mean like if he teases you or something then you can do that playful slap that some girls do and just lightly slap his arm or something. Don't touch him all the time just occassionally to break to touch barrier and let him feel more comfortable with you.

    • oh OK, I understand

  • well at least you've had a boyfriend before I assume right? better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

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    • Never really bad a boyfriend

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    • Actually I am, I've never even kissed or held hands

    • i'm sorry, I feel your pain and frustration, I really do

What Girls Said 4

  • I've also had bad luck with guys. A guy once took me to lunch and acted really flirty afterwords. I texted him the next day and I never got a response. Every time I saw him after that he acted like the date never even happened. So, I've been there. Guys can be a**holes.

    You can't let things that have happened to you get in the way of your self confidence or let it change your perception of other guys in your future. It's better to give each experience the benefit of the doubt at first. It just works out better that way. This guy sounds like he's into you. There's no other explanation as to why he'd ask you to continue the conversation and then you end up talking until 2 30am.

    I don't know that I would ask him out or tell him your feelings just yet, but I would say to keep doing what you're doing. Hanging out with him, just spending time with him and maybe flirting a little will show him how you feel about him. It's better to let things happen as they're meant to. It's better to take things slow because you can still keep your guard up a little that way.

    Just don't let past experiences affect this one. It could end up being a very good one.

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  • I have this motto: "New guy, tabula rasa!" *New guy, clean slate*

    This means.. don't take any of the baggage you've had from past relationships or experiences with other men. This is a fresh start with a brand new person... don't taint it with negative expectations because of your sour history.

    Seems like this new guy is really into you, but take things slow, just hang out for now and get to know one another. Good luck!

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  • Hey! I thought I have a bad luck also... But... You have to realize that there are many guys who just want a fast love and when they see a good relationship material in you they just get scared. And that can't bother u! Nor you can think of it as a bad luck. The point that guys like that are attracted to you is equal to the fact that you are a sexy lady! And that means that one day you will find a nice guy who is worth it! And those nice guys can't be found when you expect... They come silently into your life. Don't change and go ahead! :-)

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  • The truth is guys are scared to go out with you,one guy needs his mom and another guy probably sh*t his pants,you look more like those ghost girls in Japanese horror movies,maybe change of hairstyle would help you

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    • I wear my hair differently all the time, I had my hair curly for the second date, my skin is actually a little darker than my profile pic...and I'm not Asian

    • well ,nice way to break someone's self esteem eh ?

    • gee that's nice. -_-

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