Can you really change compartments?

Ok.. #1 Don't judge. I don't have all the answers, and I'm not saying I'm right.. but I keep my sexual life and my dating life apart. How's that working out for me? Not so great.. LOL.

So, here I am keeping the two separate and I meet a guy on AFF. Hands down, this guy is the best guy, best connection I've had in years, and when we're together its like someone shut off the world. Of course things went physical very quickly because of where we met. It is what it is. However, as he put it.. "the lines are getting blurry".

Its been 2 months and we have been out on 6 dates (we're both full time parents and live an hour apart so 6 dates is a lot for us lol).. all very normal, sweet, talk for hours, laugh our asses off, totally in awe of each other dates that yes, end in sex. And we did spend a weekend together at my house. He brought it up that the lines were getting blurry, and I agreed, but nothing more has been said about it.

We're going camping for the weekend in a few weeks, and I'm thinking its time to revisit the blurry lines conversation. I don't think I'm asking for anything serious, or anything to change. I think I just want to tell him that I want us both to take each other out of that compartment we met each other in, and just allow possibilities? I think maybe that's happening anyway just naturally on its own? I'm just not sure if I should bring this up before camping. I'd hate to bring it up during camping and make him uncomfortable just in case I am reading anything wrong.

I just have a really hard time believing that a man is capable of changing compartments. Make sense?


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What Guys Said 1

  • In all honesty, I've never actually personally considered having any kind of separation involving those aspects of my life. I've always felt that a truly strong and lasting relationship will start as a good friendship and will just continue to progress in levels of intimacy naturally. From what your saying, you both have already been dancing between both sides of the line. The real question is, are you happy? If you both erased the line and just let the relationship go wherever it's going to go, would you be happier than if you re-drew that line? To give a more direct answer, it was the guy who mentioned the lines were getting blurry. That's the kind of thing I would say if I was trying to gauge if it was OK with the person I was with. In this case it might be wise to be blunt. Something along the lines of "I'm perfectly happy if the line just disappears but if your not comfortable with that then I need to know before this gets complicated."

    To be clear, I've never had these "compartments" you speak of so my answer may be from a slightly different perspective.

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