At what age should you be willing to accept the idea of a new date having a kid?

Being 24 years old, I'm typically against the idea of dating someone who has a kid. Not because I have anything against the kid, or necessarily think the girl is a bad person because she has a kid.

I just feel that having that added factor in the relationship is something that I rather not have to deal with when trying to start a new relationship. We simply would have the same freedom.

If I was older, I would realize that it is simply common for the girls I'm dating to have kids from previous marriages/relationships. But I guess at my young age, I feel that its perfectly understandable to not be accepting of such a thing in any new relationship.

Am I right or am I wrong? Am I over-exaggerating the burden of one person in a relationship have a kid from a previous one? What age do you think a person should just accept that fact that potential dates may have a kid?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It doesn't have as much to do with age as it does have to do with where you are at in your life. It's not like you'll turn 26 and all of a sudden be ready to take on that kind of responsibility. You're contemplating a big decision here. If that woman and you ended up in a serious relationship, eventually she would look to you to be a father figure for her child. That is a serious thing to take on. You're ready when you're ready. Don't feel like you should be accepting of this type of person or feel bad for not accepting them. Everyone has different wants and needs, you are justified to feel the way you do and want what you want.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I got pregnant at 22 and had my kid at 23. I don't think it has anything to do with you being 24.

    It has to do with preference and needs (not necessarily maturity level).

    You are at a place and time in your life where you don't want to take on someone elses responsibility (there is nothing wrong with that).

    You also want to enjoy being young and able to do whatever you want.

    It doesn't make you a bad person.

    We all want what we want.

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  • It's all about what YOU personally can handle. I'd think twice about getting involved with a man with a child too, because it is a HUGE responsibility. It's dating an entire family. At any age, being wary of families is acceptable. It's all about what you're looking for.

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  • its all about you,

    I'm 23 and have a 2year old , my male best friend lives with me and my baby (friends with benifits) and at times the crying gets to him , but he loves my baby , so ultimately it don't matter ,

    if your young and wanna go clubbing, drinking, travailing etc etc , the a girlfriend with kids is gonna want diffrent things from you ,

    if you fall in love with a girl and she has kids , you will swap nights out for movies on the sofa and ull be happy ,

    i think ya thinking to much into it , just have fun with girls kids or no kids , and depending how you feel about her will show you how you feel about her kids

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  • i refuse to date a man with a child. I will NOT be a "baby mama" to a child that's not mine also the added baggage on his part. For me personally I will never accept a man who has a child even if I was 40+... Everyone is different. Some people accept at younger ages or as they get older and some never will accept a child that's not theirs

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  • i agree. it really has to do with where you are in life more than anything else. because say a woman is 25 divorced with a kid. she probably would have more in common with an older man than a guy her own age

    then again so many people are single parents nowadays you probably have to be more liberal about it.

    i would feel weird dating a guy with a kid at any age considering I'm only 21

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  • You don't ever HAVE to accept it. In fact, most people don't go into a dating situation expecting to find someone who has children. But sometimes they fall for someone who happens to have them. If you have your own children and are still dating, it's especially recommended to be open to dating people who do have children. They will be much more understanding of your schedule and priorities. If you don't have your own children while you're single ever, feel free to keep dating women who don't have them ... though, like I said, it may limit your option.

    After your early 30's, even with dating younger women, it becomes difficult to find, though. Most really young women don't want to date older than 5-6 years older, with a slim few who do prefer older gents having a lot of competition from these older guys and from studs their own age.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Hey, at our age, nobody wants the burden of "baggage." You wan to be able to explore that other person without having to worry about running to Wal-mart to pick up a box of pampers.

    I agree, your not a bad person, completely normal.

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  • 35 and older

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  • For me and my age maybe 35?

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  • I'm 37 and I will never date a woman who has kids.

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