I don't like my bff since she's been with this guy.

How do I tell someone I've known for 10+ years that ever since she started dating this guy she's changed, and not for the better?

She started dating him just over a year ago and they're already engaged (getting married within the year). Ever since they've been together, she's been different. I can't really put my finger on how, but I haven't liked her as much since. And since they've been engaged, everything is what HE says, she doesn't seem to get an opinion on anything.

He doesn't want to meet her friends (I've met him once and some of her wedding party -that live in town- won't get to meet him until the rehearsal dinner). He doesn't seem to care and she doesn't seem bothered.

He's made her cancel plans with me at least twice.

I want to tell her that I don't really like her since she's been with him, but don't know how best to say it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just let her know you wanna talk to her. Meet up with her and tell her how you feel. Not like: YOU've changed. More like: I get the feeling you're acting different lately. Make sure you use the words "I feel like" instead of blaming it all on her. Don't state things as a fact but as how you see it. Tell her you'd appreciate if if her husband-to-be made an effort to get to know his wifes friends. Sometimes a guy doesn't bother because some of her friends aren't his kind of people, but then you'll have to accept that. As long as she still makes plans with you... But it's normal that, when people grow up, some friends are lost. In high school it's easy, after school you meet up, in the weekends, you meet up, ... But when people move on with their life, like getting a serious boyfriend, moving in, getting a job, ...you don't always have that much time for friends.

    If you're friends with her for such a long time, she'll understand what's bothering you and she'll listen.

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What Guys Said 3

  • A lot of women are looking for a father figure..once they findhim, they listen to him exclusively. It's common with US women especially, maybe because so many come from divorced parents where they have only a sporadic relationship with their fathers.

    You've got nothing to lose by being blunt with her. She won't respond, probably, but she will hear you.

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  • Just be blunt with her. From my experience it will make no difference I'm afraid, as I've had that type of conversation with my best friend about how she is since she started seeing her boyfriend, and though she says the right things at the time it just goes back to normal in the end.

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  • You never step in the same river twice. People change, not always for the better.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Don't say you don't like her, but do sit her down and explain you feel her behavior and attitudes have changed and you're concerned for her because her boyfriend seems unhealthy in x, y, and z ways. Use "I feel" statements and stress you care about her and want her to be happy, but you also think she deserves to be in a relationship where she can have her own opinions, etc. Best of luck!

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  • That's what happens. People grow up, move on. I don't mean to be rude or anything but he is now more important than you. Soon there will be kids in the equation and it'll be even worse. I wouldn't say anything about it to her because all you're going to do is make her her angry most likely. I don't know I just wouldn't like my fiends telling me they on't like the man I'm marrying and spending the rest of my life with. I'd prefer they keep it to themselves. Anyway, you should just try to be happy for her.

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  • Does anyone else feel this way about her? Because if other people notice this then maybe you should all bring this up to her a groop

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  • You should tell her how you feel ,just be honest with her ,as you said she's been your friend for 10 years she'll understand.

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