Non-black females who date black guys. You're in public with your boyfriend and a black girl says...

"If I could get a dollar every time I see a black guy with a girl who's not black! *shakes her head* black men glamorizing a culture that oppressed them. And the girl doesn't even realize her dating him is usually a product of self-hate."

What is your initial reaction?

How do you respond to something like that?

Black guys, what is your response?

Updates:
It wasn't even said in an aggressive, bitchy, or mean tone. More like an inquisitive, making an observation tone and her general voice was very propper/not ghetto at all.
So it was weird to react to because she didn't seem like she was attacking anyone but just simply being genuine...or at least that's the vibe I got

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a black female, I agree.

    Non-black females may not be aware of the fact that many black men of this generation have self hating mentalities, but they do and when they date non-black females it's a branch of this self hating perspective on dating and relationships. It's like they are oblivious to the issues in the black community and they just want to have this tragic, interracial love story that they dismiss any possible validity to the claim and just tell themselves that someone is jealous of them. Which in my opinion is very stupid. Convincing themselves that their man is not at fault is more important than facing a not so pretty reality. In their eyes, they're just dating a black guy, but it's like most of them generally do not comprehend the fact that most African American males are brainwashed and degrade black features which is why they show such interest in non-black women to begin with.

    Black men uplift women of other ethnicities. That is a self-hating mentality for black men to praise and glorify Latinas, Asians, and white women while they sh*t on black women's features and belittle them for their genetics. A lot of black guys try to throw around the word 'preference' when in reality, they think non-black women are more superior. They show them more respect generally; for example, most of them will be extra sweet and gentlemen like to a non-black girl but not show the same behavior to a black girl. Black men of this generation are a mess. I've given up on them.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I've seen a lot of programmes about interracial dating in the US and one thing that came forth is that black women feel like they have last or no pick. Often heard: "all the good black men want a white woman". I think that non-whites in the US have very strong feelings about their ethnicity. They often claim that they want to be equal yet they do hold on to their community. Dating outside your race is seen as treachery. Plastic surgery is seen as treachery. Sometimes even educations, carreers and moving into a nice neighbourhood are seen as treacherous. I get it, you know, in one way they want to be equal to whites on the other hand whites are the "enemy". Based on the number of black women on this site that have contacted me, I can only conclude that not everyone agrees with this. It's a bit silly if you think about it, one girl here says she is giving up on black guys because they won't date black girls: pot, kettle and yes, black.

    Self hate, so easy to use that term. If I date an American, do I then hate my Dutch nationality? if I date a short girl, do I hate being tall? if I date a girl, do I hate being a guy?

    My dad comes from a white trash family and got sh*t his whole life for betraying the family. What did he do? He married a nice educated girl, had a good carreer and moved out of the region. That doesn't mean he hates himself, he justs wanted something different.

    I have to stress two things though.

    One, I'm neither American or black so this is all just what I saw on tv.

    Two, if I offended anyone by what I said or because of offensive terminology, I apologize, but it very hard to answer these racial topics without sounding racist.

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    • I also find it interesting that many answers suggested the girl in question was white when really she was Latina. As a minority myself, I feel that I can see the correlation that many black women suggest. No offense, but many white people seem to be nearly oblivious to the truth about how many people are in ethnic communities. You can't even compare yourself to the situation because the history of your people does not induce possible self hate to begin with. You have simplified a possibility

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    • Some areas in the US even are predominantly black or Hispanic, would you think a white person there dating the predominant race to hate his own?

    • Generally, most white people will not experience racism and prejudice the way minorities do. Yeah, there are some situations that make it possible, but overall, it?s not the same thing. Accept it instead of coming up with a bunch of invalid, no offense but weak counter-arguments that don?t even apply.

  • I'm neither a girls whos dated a black guy nor a black guy, but personally you just shake it off and keep going. No matter what you do, somebody somewhere will disagree with you, it's just how people are. Let them wallow in their hate, you keep right on being happy.

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    • I really don't think it was about "hate". You can't assume that every time someone disagrees or has something negative to say that it's directly coming from some form of hate. That's very small minded and no one will ever dig deeper or figure anything out if they automtically claim the source is 'haterism' all the time.

    • Fair point, but to me the reaction is still more or less the same. If they seem genuinely confused or something you could always have a discussion with them to try and explain your side, or you can just let it go I guess. Point is to not let it affect you too much.

What Girls Said 3

  • I'm white and would never date a black guy

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    • ...oooookaaaayyy? so then why did you even come here?

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    • Um yeah pretty much.. Not even gonna lie. lol

    • What a disgusting heart you have. Good luck finding a guy who will stay around with your deplorable personality!

  • I have no idea I've never dated out of my race but I do find the concept you've mentioned interesting, not sure if it's true or not but it's an interesting concept to debate I think. I do think a lot of black girls feel this way I've heard something similar to this most of my life. it's hard to know if it comes from something real with the men or if it's something black women have rationalized because it hurts them to see 'their' men with white women. I guess it's possible that even subconsciously black men see white women as a status symbol that raises them up. Good question.

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    • thanks :)

      I almost wonder if it's a bit of both. Of course you're going to have your insecure women who really are just envious and talking smack. But I find it hard to believe that SO MANY WOMEN have said something to that effect. If a general idea has been repeated by so many different people from different areas, I can't help but wonder if there's truth to it...

      I'm more mature than to make the whole situation all about my feelings of being uncomfortable in that situation. I seek truth.

    • I also find it interesting that many answers suggested the girl in question was white when really she was Latina...

  • Offended. I got mean comments a lot when I dated my ex boyfriend. It wasn't a product of self-hate so that's just ignorance and jealousy on her part. It was really hard. All I wanted to do was be in love and show the world (since I'd been single most of my life) and they did everything they could to ruin it.

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    • Why do you assume it's jealousy? I think it's small minded and not smart to automtically assume someone is either jealous or hating every time they say something that is negative or something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I'm looking for TRUE SOLUTIONS here; not just someone who's going to come here and sound like a broken record saying "They're just jealous" because I truly don't believe all of them are going to be jealous.

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    • You asked for personal opinion and then bash.me for giving an answer about personal experience! You're a moron! And made it known clearly you are the bitter female from this story!

    • I didn't bash you.

      If you are too sensitive and emotional to give a worth while, LOGICAL participation on this post then please leave.

      Lol, I'm not a bitter female. I'm not even black, but you do sound like the typical arrogant, entitled white girl when you assume that anyone who doesn't agree with you and sugarcoat interracial dating topics for you is either envious or bitter.

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