Should I make it clear this is a deal breaker?

I met a girl online recently. We have a date set up soon. I noticed she has at least one or two big dogs in the house (pics). This is a deal breaker for me. I can handle one little dog...but not big dogs inside. Personally I don't think I should bring it up until I know there's a chance we might get into a relationship. What do you think?

Updates:
Does it make sense to wait to see if we end up being exclusive before I bringing up things in which we disagree? For example, we date for a while and she asks me to be exclusive. I then say...sure...as long as you understand that I'm firmly opposed to large dogs in my house. The key words being "my house"...not hers. Or, should I just let it happen naturally...for example let the the sneezing, runny nose...itchy watery eyes, coughing, and a lint brush in hand speak for itself?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't bring it up into conversation as a deal breaker but you should probably bring the topic up in general conversation to discuss each of your preferences and I would suggest you express your feelings mildly. I'm sorry but if this is something that you guys don't see eye to eye on then its probably going to be a sign of other differences about how you guys maintain your homes. Or it may turn out to be a deal breaker for her. She won't change that her dogs live inside for you and that's usually something dog owners feel strongly about because of the bond they develop with it and big dogs can be so much more affectionate than the little ones. Think first about it if what you want is a serious relationship.

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    • Yeah..its just annoying that I finally find a girl that I have a lot in common with..and she seems very much into me...yet there's this stinking dog issue. A part of me thinks I should wait to bring this up to her if or after she falls in love with me. I realize I'm getting far ahead of myself here. I'm not wanting her to get rid of the animals...just let them be good outside guard dogs.

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    • She may listen to your feelings about it but she won't pick you over the dogs. I strongly feel this is something that you should at least discuss in general conversation now or while you two are dating but not yet serious. Don't let the whole relationship run its course because she will not take kindly to you keeping that from her this whole time and then expecting her to pick you on top of it. Just be honest. Don't get caught up on all the similarities between you two.

    • Thanks for the responses. I tend to agree with you. She has asked if I have any pets, which I do not. I hope she brings it up as a question to me instead of the other way around.

What Girls Said 5

  • You can tell her flat out now or hold off until later, but giving her an ultimatum of you of her dogs (including forcing them to live outside) at ANY point in the relationship, will probably result in her dogs wining. Dog owners tend to be very devoted to their pets and view them as one of the family instead of well..A pet.

    I do not like having fuzzy pets indoors personally, but if I did I'd be pissed that a guy wasted my time dating/forming a relationship only to break it off due to something he knew about me prior. I'd suggest bringing up the topic next time you chat, and try to feel out if she would be willing to budge without telling her straight up that you think it's disgusting. If not, well you're probably better off trying to find someone else rather than ignoring the issue just to have the same result later.

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  • This is probably the stupidest deal breaker I have ever heard. She isn't going to give up her dogs for you, so if her having big dogs instead of p**** ass dogs inside is a deal breaker- then go date some one else. Tell her why though, that way she can laugh about it instead of thinking there is something actually wrong with her.

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    • I'm thinking long-term. Other than thinking its disgusting to have a large animal (s) in your house...lounging on furniture...I'm allergic to them..and my mom and other family have asthma.

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    • Its a serious question...whether it will turn into an issue is yet to be seen. I try to inject humor and sarcasm when ever possible. I make fun of relatives who have large dogs indoors all the time. I just don't want to be a jerk...and get 6 mos into a relationship before I mention large dogs as a NO- Go for me.

    • Then yea, mention it to her and see if y'all can come up with a solution together.

  • I'm myself terrified by big dogs, I know it's not the same.

    But try to tell her that You're allergic (maybe avoid saying you Think it's disgusting) and/or not comfortable with them. I do that to my friends, and they're understanding and hides the dog or Holding it away from me. Many dog owners are understanding that some People' aren't dog Lovers.

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  • Just tell her the truth and why. I don't like big dogs inside either,sh*ts nasty...Maybe because I had bad experience when I use to rent with others.

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  • This probably sounds incredibly dishonest but I think you should just casually mention that you're allergic. See what her solution is. She'd probably think you're being ridiculous if you didn't have a good reason besides just plain not liking it.

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    • I don't like the hair...the dander...the fleas...or the smell.

    • Haha well luckily that's pretty congruent with what you'd dislike if you WERE allergic. Maybe she can keep her dogs super clean, and if you notice gross things, start fake-sneezing XD

    • Hair- get a shampoo that helps with shedding and get a curry comb.

      Dander- the shampoo helps this

      Smell- holy sh*t shampoo

      Fleas- get flea drops.

What Guys Said 4

  • Dogs are a secondary issue. Something can be worked out if you are otherwise matched well, but I doubt you'll be a good match since you obviously have very different views about a lot of things. Dogs in the house are an indicator of basic personality differences, I would think.

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    • From what I can tell...we have a ton in common...minus the large ugly dogs in the house issue. Homes are for humans, while dog houses...and open back yards(in the country) full of fresh air and new smells is where large dogs belong.

    • The point is, she doesn't see things that way. That's what Imean about personality differences.

  • Why do you hate dogs? If you wanna get familiar with them ask to to smear peanut butter on your nuts during sex and have the dogs in the room. You'll be bff in no time.

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  • you scared of dogs homie?

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    • No..I've owned Boxers most of my life. They live outside like the other animals do.

  • You might as well know now that no matter how you feel about dogs, no girl is going to get rid of her dogs for you (or any other guy).

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    • I don't expect her to get rid of them...just let them live outside like most animals do.

    • Making them live outdoors after they have been indoors for so long can cause depression for the dogs. There is little that is more cruel than leaving a social animal alone in a yard...except to do so after having him inside as a part of the family.

    • There are 2 dogs...they won't be alone outside.

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