Do online dating sites work?
I'm trying to reach out to more channels for serious dating - is online worth it or is it gonna be more bullsh*t? I have no problem getting girls I'm... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
I have had an online dating profile for quite some time. I have not been active with it though lately. When I used to send messages after a while I'd find a girl I really hit it off with but then she'd flake after a few times of meeting. This trend has happened for me quite a few times.
Girls on free dating sites get a lot of messages if they have a good photo and are good looking so they can get overwhelmed with good people but also creepers. I know a girl who told me she was getting 20 or so messages daily and some of them were quite creepy.
From the profiles of girls I have read, a lot of them are extremely picky. They have shopping lists right in their profile of everything they want from living conditions, college degrees, height, and even hair style. I've read forums where guys feel that women are searching by income levels and other guys complain that women only want dinner dates from them as well. I also notice when I would search that a lot of them were teachers or working with children in some way(could just be my area I dunno). Another thing I noticed was that a lot of them would rant in their profiles about guys wanting "one thing only."
My advice is to just write a good bio on yourself and what you want. Then just leave it up and don't bother with it unless you get a message. I have looked at and tried pay sites but then would just see the same profiles that were on the free sites on the paid sites as well.
What Girls Said 8
im on two online dating sites and sadly this isn't even an online dating site and the only relationship I got from online was here, it was the best I ever had, after 6 months he didn't want me though
i guess you could try
for some pple it works, other? get played and have a lot of regrets. keep and open mind and just be careful take it slow
You have to be patience. That's key. That's how I met my boyfriend.
Online dating is much the same as other types if dating. Some are looking for something serious and some not so much. It's just another avenue of meeting people.
Best advice ever given to me:
You'll find your perfect match when you least expect to but be sure you don't ignore them, fore you only get one chance.
It's really just like dating through any other avenue - some hits, some misses.
Just because someone is looking for a date online doesn't mean they're a creep and it also doesn't mean they're automatically wonderful and looking for what they say they're looking for.
Some people go there to be able to "filter" through people - unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way.
I really don't feel it's all that different from trying to meet someone at a bar/club, etc.
Only difference is you MIGHT know a little more about them before the first date. But again, that's relying on people being honest.
Dating is always going to be an adventure!
I've been with my guy for a year now <3
It will for sure be more bullsh*t trust me. I've used okcupid and plenty of fish. Both a bunch of crap. You may have better luck with sites you actually have to pay for. I know a few people who have solid relationships they found through match.com
What Guys Said 12
you say you have no problem getting girls, so you should be fine with online dating
update: Again, the problem with online dating. As a girl, she has that luxury. Us guys don't. She probably has at least 10 guys whom want to date her and she is also interested in dating. I used to work with a girl (who was 27 at the time) and was going out on dates every other night of the week when she used online dating because she was attractive and as a result getting 100's of emails. Online dating is extremely one sided towards women, then again the dating scene in general sort of is, so I guess that's nothing new.
Ok I used online dating fairly extensively for about a year and have done my research on the subject so I think I can be of some help. First of all let me say this, online dating is a great tool. It's just another avenue no different than bars, to try and meet someone, so I see no problem in adding it to your dating repertoire. However, that being said, its not all its cracked up to be and its not like a dating made easy machine where you push a button and it spits out a million dates (at least not for guys).
First let's talk about the math behind online dating. There are about 4 guys for every one girl on an online dating site. No surprise here, girls take a passive role to dating. Any girl who is half way decent looking does not need online dating to get dates because she likely always has at least one in person suitor at any given time. Let's expand those numbers for the sake of argument. So let's assume a side has 40 guys and 10 girls (4/1 ratio). Then let's assume only 2-3 are very attractive as in they would have an average rating of 7-8+ on a 1-10 scale, because again, hot girls don't' need to use online dating. For the sake of easy math, let's keep it at an even 2. So, we can assume then that those 2 girls are receiving about 20 messages each. So for guys, the competition is high. Unless you are a perfect specimen of a human being, she's going to overlook you, all because she can. When given a large selection to choose from, of course a person is going to be picky. This brings me to my next point.
Online dating creates a very shallow environment. Especially on sites that allow open searches, like match.com, okcupid, plenty of fish, etc. You simply fill out a profile and then go looking based on whatever search terms you chose. There is either no feature, or you are at least not forced to only see those who are compatible. These sites are essentially promoting you to create your "perfect mate". However we all know that our ideal mate rarely even exists, is available, and is even really compatible for us. Many times the happiest relationships are with people we never imagined ourselves with. By turning dating into window shopping it again, makes people pickier than they normally would. When someone gives you a choice of 1000's of people, of course your going to be picky. If you have a choice of 3 people, you would be much less picky and more or less "settle" for lack of a better word. These search terms can easily cause us to overlook a person we might have been perfect with. Maybe a girl says she wants her man to be 5'8+ so she enters that into the search filter. Little does she know she passed up a guy who was 5'7 by doing so who would have been perfect and had running into him in the real world, she would have more than obliged a date with.
So as you can see, while it can be useful, it definitely has its flaws. I used it for a year and got one date/gf out of it. that's after messaging easily 50+ women.
My experience has not been good. One problem is that people (I'm assuming men do this as well) tell you what they want to be, not necessarily who they really are. Perhaps your co workers should write you bios.
The other problem is that, the women at least, want a perfect man. They are shopping. The attitude seems to be "With all these choices I can be real picky." This might be true but since you never really know who the person is until you have some real communication (phone, in person) you will really never know.
Put another way: You have an endless choice of profiles (not people) who are flung out over the US. With no real way to tell if you are compatible until you actually talk to them. Then you really don't know until you spend time with them. But you can't do that with that particular medium. Meeting of course is an option but most women I encountered wanted to email forever.
But that is my observations from my experience. As they say, "your results may vary". EHarmony worked the best. It cut through a lot of the chit chat and gave me useful information that actually gave me an idea of who I was interacting with.
Nice going with the online dating. I actually get approached or get heavy cues a few times a week in public but I strike out hard online...it's weird. Maybe I need to be more direct like you've said.
It's a mixed bag - I signed up a little over a year ago, and in the 1st week, I went out with 4 different girls! But then NOTHING. Nothing for months... But then, 3 MORE... then nothing...
When it rains, it pours. That's all I can really say...
Oh, and don't expect women to contact you - of the nearly 50 girls I talked to over the course of this last year, ONLY 2 contacted me first...
AND, of those 50 girls, only about half of them replied to my messages...
The odds aren't good BUT if you "play" enough, you should eventually find a chick online.
Online dating is a tool. That means it is only as useful as you make it and it will only work for you if you do it right.
Here's the thing though. Online dating is something you have to put time and effort into to get results. You get out of it what you put into it.
Approaching women in real life is easier because you can project confidence, humor, personality, vigor, positivity, etc much better.
And online there are hundreds of guys who are creepy or desperate. In real life, the difference is clear. But with text and photos, it's harder.
So you have to do a really good job of making an interesting profile, putting up a big variety of flattering pictures and writing engaging messages.
E-harmony decreases the numbers of guys who can contact the women on there. It's very structured which is good and bad. Good because people can't send mutiple emails without getting a response email. Bad, because you really can't search...instead the site sends matches to you.
It takes VERY long and is incredibly frustrating and annoying... sometimes you just feel like quitting or even crying but you can eventually find someone like I did. It took a little over a year but I think it was worth it, try POF.com
I agree with everyone else who's said that online dating is just another way of meeting people. I've never used a website specifically designed for dating, but I did meet my first (now-ex) girlfriend online and it was the absolute most wonderful relationship I've been in. That being said, I fully endorse meeting people online. There's nothing wrong with it, and as far as I know, the "stigma" that used to be heavily associated with it has - to some degree - vanished. Good luck out there!
My aunt found her boyfriend on Yahoo! personals a few years ago, and they have a kid together. It can be very nice for busy professionals, etc.
***OPTIONAL READ: MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:****
The women get flooded with half-assed emails from basically every guy that sees their profile. They are showered with all this attention and it gets to their head maybe...they don't even see it as a challenge. I have had written great messages to various girls and they've ignored me. I actually met one of those girls in real life and she felt bad for deleting my message (she didn't even read it...or see my profile for that matter..lmao)