What if we scrap out dating?

I just met a guy who's been married for 2yrs.He and his wife now have a beautiful kid we started talking about how he met his wife and it turns out they never dated but one had to apply to the girl's church and wait his turn,after which depending on whether the girl approves the previous suitors he could meet the girl go through rigorous counseling and interviews then if successful get to marry the girl. This also includes the girls consent of course if she does not consent to the first application it wouldn't b necessary for the whole process. They have a very happy marriage now,yet they never dated what d you think of this format of meeting ua life partner?

Updates:
Thanks for the comments guys but I don't see it as arranged mind look at these few points

a) the guy liked the girol

b) the girl had to approve

All that they didn't do is date and if it was arranged marriage, they prob didn't even know each other adn more so they didn't have a choice

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This answer will be long, so please bear with me.

    That actually sounds somewhat similar to how relationships/courtships worked before dating as we know it came to be. A girl would usually live with her family until she got married because women weren't as common in the work force and didn't have as many rights as men did. So a guy would go to her house, talk with her parents for a bit, and then ask if he could see her. Her parents would ask her if she wanted to see him and the decision was ultimately hers. Usually, it would just be dinner with her family.

    Then early on in the 20th century, women get the right to vote, women start working more and become more independent, and movies and the automobile show up. Obviously, the way men and women went about relationships changed. Dating as we know it started to become more common in the late 1920s/early 1930s.

    Now I'm a Catholic and in the Catholic Church, if a couple wants to get married, they have to take marriage prep classes, which are taught by a couple that has been married for a certain length of time and dealt with all the ups and downs of raising children, balancing jobs, managing the family budget, etc. My parents taught marriage prep for a while about ten years ago. In the time they did it, they only had one couple that stopped attending.

    Honestly though, part of what you've described also sounds kind of like a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. To be completely honest, it's one of the stupidest books I have ever read. While the book does not exactly say one should fill out an application to be in a relationship with someone, I think the idea is pretty crazy.

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What Girls Said 5

  • As others have said, this is along the lines of an arranged marriage. I actually did a project on arranged marriage in high school, and actually don't think its a very bad idea. Look at it this way... When you date a person, you're putting your best foot forward most of the time. You don't want them to see the negative parts of you. This is why a lot of people say "You aren't the person I married" - because they both tried hiding the not-so-flattering parts of themselves during the courting phase in order to impress and attract each other, but they're really only learning of half of who the person really is. In an arranged marriage, it works more like a friendship and there might be more teamwork and incentive to build a relationship together, simply because you still need to get to know the person. You haven't already spent time getting to know them (while ignoring or not seeing their bad parts, or wanting to "change" them after you make a commitment).

    While it's nice that we can choose our romantic partners ourselves, I don't think arranged marriages are seen positively by many people, and they don't get as much acceptance as I think they should. It seems like somewhat of a smart idea to me. I'm really on the fence though... since I was born and raised in a free-choice dating culture, I see both sides.

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  • Sounds like some kind of business agreement. Not for me, but maybe more reliable than matching based on attraction.

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    • interesting, but this business agreement is bearing fruit so not a bad plan to buy into

  • No,I enjoy the flirting, the emotional build up and overall seduction

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  • Intriguing... But very, very risky.

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    • well one had a choice well the best things in life are risks

  • Sounds incredibly boring and along the lines of an arranged marriage like they do in India. No thanks. I prefer to get to know a person myself. What is life without taking risks? I'd rather my life be spontaneous over systematic.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Lol that's exactly the same concept as traditionnal dating, just the dinner table is replaced by a more formal table for your interview and it's not the girl interviewing you it's someone else.

    I don't think I could be with a girl simply based off of her CV. I think they got lucky.

    I think scrapping out dating is a great idea, I never dated before getting into any of my relationships and have only fond memories of each and every one of them BUT I wouldn't replace it with something evern worse than dating lol. At least on a date you get to enjoy a side plus like a movie or a nice meal or smth...

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  • Simply stated, I think it's insanity.

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    • Only insane peeps made the greatest leaps in history man

    • I think it's also fair to say that there's a really big difference between being Felix Baumgartner or Neil Armstrong, and deciding who to spend the rest of your life with on something just short of a whim.

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