Girls - are you afraid of guys with scars on wrist? (From self harm)

After searching the Internet for this question I saw a disproportionate amount of girls asking this question.

Let's turn the tables. Ladies would you be afraid to date a guy with scars on their wrist?

I consider myself to be fairly attractive looking. My friend or I would periodically catch girls checking me out. Or so he says. However, I went through a dark phase in my life and stupidly tried to end it. I wasn't necessarily depressed as some of you might presume, but more so fed up.

Now I'm more confident than ever (but not to the point of arrogance) except when when it comes to females. Mostly because I sometimes think they might be judging me based on my scars, for they stand out quite a bit. It's starting to become a bit of a dating setback (that's how I feel atleast).

Thank you ladies!

Ps. I'm not crazy I swear! :D

Updates:
Edit: sorry about the spelling/coherence. Typing on the iPad. Stupid auto correct.


@anon girl: I meant *friends put up with*
@Tripz: By the looks of it, you don't exactly look strong yourself. Let me ask you this: How many of your best friends died? How many of them in front of your eyes? Blown to pieces? Did you ever feel like you could of saved them but all your efforts were in vain?


You have absolutely no idea of what Hell exsist on this earth. Enjoy your meaningless xper points Tripz.


As for everyone else thank you for your honest constructive inputs. It really means a lot to me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't be scared, but I certainly wouldn't date one.

    I like guys who can work through their problems, not cry about them. Besides, cutting yourself accomplishes nothing. I would want a guy who sees sense enough not to do it.

    If they were old and it was clear that he's changed, perhaps I would give him a chance.

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    • Whoa whoa whoa... When did I say I cried about it? Like I said I wasn't depressed just fed up. And by the tone of your post you made it sound as if my cutting was a cry for attention which it wasn't. I made a laceration to my radial artery and I was completely aware of what I was doing and I lived

      Also you have no idea of what I've lost and the guilt I felt because of it; It's something I can't replace with money and that's as much I'm willing to talk about.

      Yes I moved on and I'm happy.

    • I wasn't talking about you specifically, more like people in general. People usually use it as a cry for help.

What Girls Said 13

  • I think that this is just me, but, I sorta like them. It shows how strong a person is and it reminds me of how lucky I am to have them.

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  • I would not be scared. I would just think that they have been through a rough time. I have as well, and I am sympathetic to the hardships of others. The world is a tough place. My only thought would be, "Are they feeling better now and will they do it again?" You seem like that is in your past, so it would not be an issue for me.

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  • If I liked a guy, I wouldn't judge him based on the problems he had in the past or the scars. I would consider them a part of his history, his journey and it wouldn't stop me from dating him at all.

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  • I wouldn't judge. However if it seemed like it was becoming a serious relationship I would probably want to ask about it and make sure you were in a good place and ready for a relationship.

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  • Personally to me that wouldn't bother me at all but I have them too so that would all depend on the girl. I'm sure oneday you will see that one girl won't care as long as there old and even if they are new she will only care because she cares for you and does not want anything to happen. Good luck

    ps and I know this probs does not mean like anything coming from me but its true

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  • No. I personally have cut also. I don't find it scary at all. Everyone goes through a rough period of time in their life. I turned to cutting when my parents got divorced and when my uncle died. There was a lot of crap going in in my life, and I thought I could just cut it out by, well, cutting. But no, I don't mind them at all. To be honest, I think they can be somewhat attractive because it shows you're not some d*** with no emotions, and that you actually do feel pain (emotionally). Hope this helped! Stay strong!

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  • If a guy is over his self harm phase then I would not be afraid.

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  • Not afraid but it's a big red flag. I am aware that people change though.

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  • I would. I have scars too; to me it just me more of him to love. And it let's me know that I'm not the only one who's gotten to a point like that. I would be honored to date a guy with self harm scars.

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  • I wouldn't be scared of that, because I have some old scars myself from self harming years ago. Be strong! <3

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  • For me, that wouldn't be something I'd judge them for, because I understand that most people go through dark phases in their lives, though some more serious than others.

    if the girl is sensible, polite and right for you, she shouldn't care about that, as long as she knows that you aren't like that anymore.

    just one thing, be honest about it, and make sure they know you have changed for the better.

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  • I have scars from uh dark times and it's never really been a dating issue for me

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    • But there's a gender bias from what I've notice when it comes to this kinda of stuff. I've seen friend out up with nutcases all because they were getting poon on the regular. If a guys searching for a serious long term relationship then it might deter him vs just dating around.

      I however want a Serious relationship.

  • I'd always think the guy may be a little unstable

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What Guys Said 4

  • well, tell them the truth, after they have gotten to know you, but get like athletic tape and wrap the scars and make sure it is impossible to see them(and if it comes up dodge the question as best you can you say you have scars and not elaborate anymore) or say or use makeup, eventually you'll need to tell them and anybody who truly has interest in you will not stop having interest because you once cut yourself

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  • you don't need to ask this question. you already know the answer - it's a disaster. I would try to make up a good story for that scar... like I was fighting 10 guys with knives or something. just don't tell the truth. truth kills.

    btw, a real man gets a gun and blows his brains out.

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    • I just tell them, "Oh you know those signs that say, 'Don't feed the tigers' at the petting zoo? They weren't f***ing kidding."

      As for the gun, I'm glad I didn't have access to one.

    • are you advocating suicide?!?!?!?

  • get a f***ing plastic surgery

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  • You don't know who I am, who are you to say I am not a strong person? If you cut yourself because you watched a best friend die, then if you've seen the pile of sh*t I've had to put up with over my 21 years of life, you would have jumped a long long time ago, and would have no reason to make this thread.

    By the way, I am strong enough, that when the sh*t hits the fan for me, I DON'T CUT MYSELF. That is more of a testament to strength and will power then cutting yourself (which, in reality shows weakness more than anything)

    There is no reason to demean someone, and it was never my intention, but you are wrong in thinking it takes strength to cut yourself.

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    • And you know who I am or experienced what I have? And reread that post I said best friendSSS. Plural. And does your does your pile of sh*t include witnessing innocent men, women, & children getting FUBAR'd by collateral damage? getting at shot? Or a pile of mangled flesh that once belonged to a close friend?

      Also when did I say in my original post that it takes strength to stupidly do what I did? that update was a response to your comment which you conviently deleted.

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    • Listen, forget everything I said, I really didn't want to be mean and be an a**hole but I did and I apologize. You have some issues that need to be addressed, and I understand that you don't know how to deal with them. Just stop cutting yourself, you have no reason to do it. Yeah your life was really hard, as you have been saying, but there are better ways to deal with your problems. Like working out, jogging, or boxing even.

      My bad dude... really f*** me for saying anything I did. Good luck

    • Love the contrast of your most recent comments. Yes I'm a douche but only torwards you as It was warranted by your original smart ass comments. I came here to seek a general consensus from women not looking to prove a point IF YOU EVEN BOTHERED TO READ THE ORINGAL THREAD. I've dealt with my issues and the incident was a one time thing. You don know what it's like, maybe it's not your place to know what it's like. I would do all that sh*t over again though (minus the cutting). We're done here.

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