I am a 24 year old girl. I have dated several guys in the past and all of them have expected sex on the first or second date...when I don't give in they stop talking to me. I have had one previous relationship (for about 4 months and I am not a virgin but at the same time not too experienced). Guys (and girls) often say I am beautiful and I get hit on a lot and asked out often..but its the same thing every time (guys keep trying to sleep with me). I am going to admit: I love casual dating but would prefer to sleep with one person...I find that impossible since every guy leaves me after I don't put out...
I have noticed that my friends (in relationships/with partners) all gave in on the first or second date...
Should I start doing this? I want sex but not a one night stand...
Most Helpful Guy
To reject you on the basis that you won't put out: Those guys must be jerks.
I hate the terminology "put out" in the first place. It treats sex as though it is a service you must do for your man. And it also treats it as though it's an undesirable chore for a woman to have sex.
But remember this also: The part that makes him a jerk is his disrespect of your personal values. NOT his desire to have sex that early. I'm not claiming you think this way, but I'm just reminding you: Be sure you know and remember this distinction.
For instance, it's not uncommon for me to think "I would love to have sex with that girl" before even meeting her. I guide that feeling in such a way that it motivates me to get to know her, whether or not she would actually be interested in a sexual relationship at all. But nonetheless, the desire is there right off the bat, as it is for most guys.
There's a way I describe how women and men tend to view sex, in my opinion:
"For a man, sex helps turn the relationship into deeper love. For a woman, sex is something you don't do until you're already at deeper love."
My advice to you is this:
-Identify exactly how you feel about sex. When, where, why, and how.
-Hold on to these values more strongly than you hold onto men.
-Remember that these choices will reduce how many boyfriends you have, or how easy it'll be to find them. But remember that it is YOUR choice, and that a small number of good relationships is much better than a large number of bad ones.
-There are a large number of guys out there who are pretty flexible, and you aren't exactly running into the cream-of-the-crop of my gender. I won't make any assumptions as to where you're meeting guys, but you should probably analyze that for yourself.
-Remember that the more "traditionally manly" the guy is, the more likely you'll run into this conundrum. Traditional masculinity isn't actually our natural state, and you'll need to find a guy who acknowledges that.2