Going from the typical nice guy to a good guy with a backbone.

So I tend to be the nice guy who is a pushover, which I want to change. Even up to the last date I had, I setup a time and a place to go. Then all of a sudden she showed up late and changed the place, but I was about to just go home and be like forget it. Yet after she called me and asked if we could go someplace else after being mad late (over an hour), I was like okay whatever. So I know this is the epitome of being the nice guy (spineless). Even after that I still say try to keep in contact and speak to her. Yet she won't even initiate contact or respond to me for about maybe two days and that is even if she decides to (which the last time I tried to contact her was today).. Now it has come down to how to move away from this persona and finally have the courage to be a man and actually just go for what I want (such as just moving in for a kiss or knowing what to do in situations like the one explained above.) . Also knowing how to setup dates and not be nervous.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • when it comes to relationships I can't help you there but I understand all too well what it's like being the nice guy who everyone uses/abuses. for me it's not being able to say no, I'm way better now than I use to be when I was young.

    I've learned to be a little more selfish but still nice to people around me. if I truly don't want to do something I'll just say "no thanks" or "I don't want to" which at first was really hard to do. I still have an issue when it comes to lending money to family so I have to write everything down to show what they owe me and give everyone a set limit based on how much they make from work or what ever.

    any way before I get too personal I say go for it, being a pushover and used is not a good feeling and I wish you the best of luck when it comes to learning to say no and to be a little more selfish but without overdoing it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Is your question whether this is a good thing or not? Personally I don't like guys who are pushovers. I dated one and he never spoke his mind and I had to choose everything we did or we wouldn't do anything which sucked. I remember I had to kiss him first and make all the first moves and I just felt less attractive. Guys who can take charge and be in command are awesome. Like if I was that late to a date I would not expect him to be so polite about it (unless it was an emergency). I used to be really shy with guys now I know what I want and I'm going for it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You have understand about being a nice guy does not make you spineless or weak like society sees it. What happen with your woman is she was testing you to see if you were a real man. You were right at first to just go home because she is not worth your time. But you failed miserably when she changed the place and the time. That's your job to do those decisions. You are right about not standing around for your chance in life that attitude in life will never succeed. Yes, going for what you want and not settling for average chicks is a real man persona. I could go on about this, but I''ll learned a trick that help me, I stumbled upon themodernman.com and read the flow book. It changed my way of life I would say in how I approached social situation with women. I encourage you to read this book it will get you started on how nature really works in the modern world.

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  • How about, grow a pair, give her the finger, and go your separate ways?

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