I Want To Date Again, I Want To Trust Guys.

I want to date again. I want to learn to trust guys again. (And not runaway at the slightest inclination of relationship drama.)

I've been burned in long term relationships. But who hasn't.

Do you have any legitimate advice, or links to helpful sites that may have helped you?

Peace.

Updates:
Relationship drama meaning... if a relationship ever occurs.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you wanna take a page from my book, my advice is hone your ability to read people. From relationships, to friends, the sharper you can identify integrity in a person, the less likely you are to be backstabbed or fooled. And don't just, like, see what you WANT to see. What you LIKE to see, you have to really see the person for who they are, pretty, ugly, insecure, impulsive, the whole nine yards.

    Now, some people say this is impossible to do perfectly, it might be, but let's stop and look at the equation. The ONLY way someone can truly hurt you from the inside is if you let them in, no one opened that door to your heart, only YOU did. So while that person who broke your heart IS a douchebag, we also are partially to blame, this is unavoidable.

    So, look deeper, learn to control and understand yourself, and the people around you. That way, you will have less regrets and your ability to selectively choose your life mates and your friends become clearer.

    Also, listen, sorry to hear you got burned. Not all guys are like that, honestly. Some of us CAN control our brains and our penises, it's just, it takes a lot of self discovery and observation to do so. It's hard to find people like that.

    Here, this picture will cheer you up.

    link

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    • Great answer

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    • See, here's the thing. Here's my philosophy. If you get hurt by someone, while you can blame the person for hurting you (and you should), the truth of the matter is, no one opened the door to your heart but yourself. It's also your own fault that you did not have the mental foresight to be able to read the person's integrity.

      That's something I've had to learn and hone over my years. The problem isn't relationships, it's the person, and I mean that in it's utmost technicality.

    • If you don't open your heart though... I guess you won't know. I was with someone for 2.5 years and then he cheated. I didn't see that coming. You can't really predict what they will do.

What Guys Said 4

  • We seem to be in the same age range and I hear and feel ya. I would like to trust women as well, but at this point in my life I have developed VERY little patience for people. All I do is not take every date or person seriously and not expect to much. So, if it doesn't work out then I'm not the one that's getting hurt the worst.

    And, right now I just meet as many girls as possible to get different personalities. Because I notice I hang out with a girl and I assume all girls are like that..and they aren't. So, by talking to different girls I am able to pin down on what type of girl I like instead of having..sort of ...tunnel vision.

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    • Hmmm... if I could get a date? I think guys have it easier dating. Ladies are picky. I am also busy. I feel like I would need to dedicate my life 24/7 to dating and lose my job if I did that. I appreciate you trying to get different viewpoints. That's cool.

    • You wait for guys to ask you out? or do you go hunting?lol

  • Hey, in short we are super dumb when it comes to many aspects of a serious relationship. You can trust us but when we're ut in a situation where we need to do the right thing, we usually fail. However this doesn't mean you need to put up a brick wall because there are great guys out there (who will also mess up from time to time) and they deserve great girls like you as well. Thanks to our design most of us can't resist the natural urge to be attracted to others and something inside always temps us to act on instinct. Please forgive us, we mess up a lot and need forgiveness often. Good luck. Sorry we're so f***ed sometimes lol.

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    • This was a very apologetic and pretty honest answer. I agree with some things you mentioned.

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    • I respect that a lot BucketBoy, it takes a real man to admit what you said. We all mess up but then that's when you need to communicate to your partner...a rship must have trust, honest and communication...

    • Thank-you sexysantana, well said (:

  • honestly, the best advice is to not get it from this board.. people here like to give their version of common sense and reinvent the wheel. You're better off socializing with people you know, and the answers will come when you're just feeling relaxed

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    • I thought the same thing. It's better than Yahoo! Answers. Maybe.

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    • well, its more of a test for them having a sense of humor cause.. how much fun would it be to hang out with someone you can't be ridiculous around? there are sensitive people out there who will understand you and laugh at your jokes

    • also, you should say ' I want someone that understands me" to someone your meeting with.. honesty = good

  • I was in the same boat, if you want to be happy you have to put yourself out there.

    I found the love of my life by doing this, you can to

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    • I found him one time. We were together for a few years then he tried to cheat. So that ruined that. Ha!

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    • BLASSSSST! I keep comparing everyone to him. I can't force these things I guess. I still have to go about my everyday life.

    • Just don't be afraid to approach someone you think you will have success with

      the nicest guys are the quietest

What Girls Said 1

  • I am in the same boat. But I am not ready yet.

    The best thing to do is join some social network groups. Meet as many people as you can.

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    • I've become more social at open mics! That's pretty much as far as I'll go. Maybe some volunteering.

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