Why are people not allowed to have preferences?

It seems that if anyone states they have a preference about something, it gets shot down and a lot of hate.

For example, if a woman says she has a preference on the height of a guy, or the degree of fitness he's at, or how big his penis is, she gets a lot of hate.

In addition, don't worry guys, I'm not leaving you out, if a guy says he has a preference on the size of breast a girl has, or her hair color, or how fit she is, or the size of her jeans, he too gets a lot of hate.

When did it not become okay for someone to have preferences for the person they'd like to date?

I don't know about you, but I have a preference in the guy I look for to date, and I'm sure all of you have at least some criteria, so why is that such a bad thing? Are people so unsure of themselves that they need to freak out at the person who voices their preferences?

What do you all think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People who do not meet the preferences of another will always disagree with them. Though, with the examples you've given:

    Height - It's understandable for a girl to want a guy to be taller than her but to issue is moreso concerned with girls ONLY finding men of certain heights attractive. We're not living in caves, height does not equal protection. This is also cannot be changed by the guy which is going to cause negative reactions toward girls who prefer it.

    Penis size - Penises aren't designed to please women, for one. They're meant to impregnate them. It's understandable to want a penis that is AVERAGE though most girls say they want 8+ inches in length and girth when the sad truth is, about 1% of guys actually have penises that size. This also cannot be changed by the guy (despite what certain pharmaceutical companies claim)

    The same goes for guys having preferences on girls:

    Boob size - You'll find that at least 50% of males actually aren't too concerned with breast size and are more concerned with their aesthetics. Shape, nipple proportion and symmetry are more important than size for these 50%. Though it's going to be frowned upon to prefer certain sizes because, similar to height, this cannot be changed by the girl (without surgery).

    As for the others you've mentioned. I have yet to see hair color as an issue and physical fitness is a trait that both males and females desire.

    I think it all boils down to preferences that are realistic or can be changed. The most unrealistic and the traits that cannot be changed will always receive criticism so, if you're going to have such preferences, you should not only expect negative opinions but accept them. No one likes to feel like the majority of the opposite gender are ruling them out because of traits that should have little importance (or they feel should have little importance) or that are out of their control.

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    • I completely agree with you. It's funny though, for example, the penis comment. When girls (like myself) say they don't care about its size (which is how many guys want girls to feel) they get down voted as well. You just can't win I guess.

    • It's because those guys feel that the girl is lying to comfort the guy because they feel that ALL girls think this way. It's just 'GAG'. A place where people come to sort out their ignorance about the other gender. Of course, you're going to have stubborn users that are bitter because of the lives they lived or how they've been treated.

What Guys Said 8

  • Everyone has preferences, and that's totally fine and normal. What isn't okay to me is when people say or imply that "anything that isn't my preference is bad/worthless/ugly/not good enough."

    The truth is that few of us follow our own preferences all that closely. We might have an idea of what a fictional "ideal" is for us, but I don't think very many people end up with someone who is all that close to their fantasy ideal. They might have a couple of similar attributes, but others will usually be off by quite a bit.

    Also, there's a difference between a preference (something that's nice to have) and a standard (something you HAVE to have). Many people call something their "preference" when they treat it like a "standard." Words mean things, and people need to get out of the habit of using words incorrectly. That's often the reason for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

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  • I think you will catch heat for it because it just sounds mean.Like a suitable man will be perfect on paper will be as boring as a sack of nails.Or for me a women looks amazing and is about as smart as a rock.

    I have a preference.and here are my top 4-

    #4.Must be funny.Have a great sense of humor because life is hard enough without some laughter.If a women can make me laugh she can hold my heart.

    #3.Must be close to her family because I am close to mine.But not weirdly so.lol

    #2.Must must must be intelligent.I might be a slacker of sorts but I am intelligent.I want her to be able to talk about anything ranging from deep space to politics to a comedic show we might have just watched

    #1.It must be okay with her that I am not rich yet.So our dates might consist of a walk in the park or sit at the bay with a picnic and just soak up some rays

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  • There are preferences, and there are deal breakers. I prefer blondes, but most girls I have dated were not. I prefer big boobs, but I never would not date a girl because she didn't have big ones, etc. When it comes to penis size, girls who claim to have "standards" are really saying they have requirements, and certain guys aren't good enough for them. Plus it is beyond their control. I may have standards against dating someone obese, but that is in their control. Girls are usually just harsher about it, where guys are just blowing smoke

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  • A woman can have all the preferences she wants as long as I can reject her based on those preferences.

    I also dislike when a woman has preferences because she's built a certain way and assumes all women are built like her.

    Other than that, it's all good.

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  • She better be a 10.

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  • I don't down vote if a person says they like something...is usually when I say I like something and they say they would "never ever" ...like Justincider said...at that point it is a deal breaker..):

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  • I have seen you shut down people before too

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  • No-one likes to hear that what they have is not preferred. Guys can be very sensitive about their height and penis size so what they read here sometimes rubs them the wrong way and they act immaturely. Girls are the same way. They insist, for example, that guys prefers short girls and get down right passive aggressive when they hear it's not the case. But it all boils down to insecurity.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think people may be jealous or insecure in themselves that the thought that someone thinks or feels differently than them is really upsetting. Plus on the internet people have anonymity which adds to basically everything whether it's sexual curiosity, bigotry, hate or something else. When you have no face or no accountability it goes to people's heads ya know. I don't think people are used to non pc things and on the internet people don't act like they do in real life so there are a lot louder, and in your face, strongly opinionated people and most of us aren't used to that in our day-to-day lives.

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  • I agree. I see a lot of "down" votes just because someone voiced their opinion.

    Personally, I never give down votes. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Who the hell am I to tell them their opinion is wrong? On the same token, who are they to tell me I'M wrong?

    I feel the world will always be filled with judgmental people, no matter how much we promulgate "love and acceptance". It's just something we have to live with.

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  • To me, down votes aren't a personal attack, just an indication that someone disagrees.

    I think people here want to make sure, when one person says, "I prefer X," no one thinks that person is speaking for everyone. There are a lot of girls/guys who agonize over breast and penis size because they think their sex lives live and die based on those, when there are plenty of people out there that don't care.

    I think the people who get annoyed with people voicing preference are trying to make sure the question asker (and anyone else reading) knows that that person's opinion isn't the only one. So they make sure it's known that they disagree.

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