Do you think he knows that he's torturing me?

I am currently in a weird relationship with my male best friend. We kissed one night, but haven't kissed since. We have however cuddled and been close to kissing again. He told me today about how beautiful I was and how it drives him crazy... regardless of this, we are still "just friends." He likes to bring up how he wants to be single and he likes to talk about other girls when we are around other people... but when we are alone... it's a whole other ball game. He's going to hold my hand and brush his nose against mine... Does he know he's killing me? No. I haven't told him. Should I?


0|0
1|6

Most Helpful Girl

  • No don't tell me. Suffer in silence, that's what real friendship is about.

    Seriously though, there's two possibility here : either he is using you to get attention and the feeling of being desired by someone (even loved?) and really want to be single and just do whatever he wants with any girl he meets, or he is afraid of admitting he has feelings towards you cause that guy seems to think being manly = using girls.

    The only way you can find out which one it is, is by talking to him. Plus if he is your best friend that shouldn't be too complicated to do...

    And do not hesitate or shy out, just sort out this awkward situation you'll win in any case : you either get the boyfriend of your dream or finally get how selfish and stupid this guy might be.

    Good luck

    1|1
    0|0
    • I should probably specify... He talks about other girls... and how they hit on him or how he hits on them... and how they are attractive... and then how he never takes their number. Then everyone teases him because he never gets laid. He is a flirty guy. BUT he doesn't believe in one night stands and secretly is suchhhhhh a sappy romantic... he even tears up at romantic parts in movies ahahaha... he would kill me for telling someone that.

    • Oh lol then you might have a keeper here.

      If he just flirts with others then you should seriously make a move, if you two are best friends that means that you hit on really really well, and it seems like you're also very attracted physically to each other. Those are usually good things to find in a potential boyfriend don't you think ?

What Guys Said 6

  • He does seem to be enjoying the intimate aspect of your friendship, so in a way you're giving him what he wants at the cost of being miserable yourself.

    You should tell him that it's not fair to continue if he doesn't want more with you, at least that's what message I get from this question.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Have you given him any input about your feelings about him? He might be unsure of how you feel and playing hard to get. He obviously has feelings for you and you need to tell him if you like him as a friend or as more. He's goimg hot and cold because of uncertainty and its awkward since you ve been friends. A lot of girls are awkward when their best guy friend has feelings for them romantically, as a guy it almost feels like with a girl that a friendship can never be more, so the guy doesn't make a move. But really its the best case scenario to be friends first with someone before you date them.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Every time I try to tell him how I feel, I get all tongue tied and end up making it a joke instead. This is so nerve wracking.

    • Show All
    • Knowing him as well as I do, I would be shocked to find out he's just "using" me. I am not saying it's impossible... It's just... I don't understand why he would be so incredibly supportive and wonderful... and just himself... if he were using me. I don't know if he likes me. If he actually wants to be with me. The whole strange romantic twist on our goofy friendship has got me all kinds of confused.

    • Yeah I hate that feeling. Was in the same situation with a girl. When we were one on one, I was everything to her and she couldn't hold herself back. Around other people though, I was just a "friend". I was so confused. But , looking. Ack

  • I would tell him how you feel, tell him that you want to be more then "just friends", if he does nothing about it he is just using you and I would then try to distance myself from him. What he might be doing is waiting for you to declare that you are a couple so he knows where he stands.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, you should tell him! He's either oblivious to it or thinks you don't care. Tell him!

    1|0
    0|0
  • Do you know that you let yourself to be mistreated this way?

    Where's your sense of dignity? Let no guy to even touch you unless you're very sure there won't happen something like... what already happened with you already.

    0|0
    0|0
    • He has never touched me inappropriately. He is a proper gentleman. Our kiss wasn't some crazy passionate sex thing... it was soft... sweet... and slow. He didn't say anything after it happened and neither did I.

    • But still you let to make advances, and that's enough.

  • Anyone that tells you to talk to him or try to figure out what he is doing is wrong. He is USING you and he is the worst kind of player. He KNOWS what he is doing and he is immoral and a bastard for treating you like that. Only a scumbag kind of guy would pull your strings and talk to you about other women. Move on and NEVER speak to him again.

    0|0
    0|0
    • But... He's my best friend. D:

    • Show All
    • He is using you. He may have cared for you at one point and may still do a little bit but he has no respect for you and is using you as an ego boost. And he is making moves. Not sexual but the nose rubbing thing and all that. It feeds his narcissism or using ways.

    • *still does*

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

Loading...