Dating and meeting guys. Why is it so hard?
I ain't gonna lie anymore. I am what you call a good girl. But I can't seem to find the type of guy I like. I seems they're all in hiding or taken or gay. And I have just moved to Australia from Scotland- that's all a loooong story. Having moved a lot, I haven't been able to date many guys, and when I do, it's long distance. But I am so tired of the long distance and all the complication it brings- the heartache, the sadness, the mental insanity when we don't speak. I just want to find someone where I actually live :/.
I often find myself believing that I am not the type for most guys- I'm larger, I'm taller, I'm a red head and I have freckles. The large chest attracts them but never keeps em. So, if I'm ever approached by a guy, I go all shy and a little nervous because I'm not used to it. I know that I can't just blab away about the type of person I am because we would be here a very long time lol. But, sometimes, although I am still only 18, I feel kinda stuck. I don't know what to do.
As I have only recently moved, and by recently I mean I've been here a year, I don't have too many friends who I consider good friends so...they don't really know me well enough to take me out to the clubs or anything. I'm stuck
Any FRIENDLY advice for me? :) xx
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Most Helpful Opinion
It's not hard. You just have to stay attuned to what is going on around you. A guy I met at a bar was sulking over his girlfriend, who had just gone back home after a visit. He looked at me and asked "What's the deal? You married, single or what?" No knowing him, I glanced at the bartender (a friend of mine) and got the "he's okay" look. "Single." He tells me that's impossible. I figure this is some sort of line. On cue, he says, "Don't mind me, I'm just down because my woman just went back home." I could tell then that while he was being friendly and honest, he wasn't actually hitting on me; in fact, he hardly "saw" anyone at the bar. Moving along to my point, he tells me why it's impossible that I have no one. He claims that there are tons of guys interested and I just have to pay attention.
Being a good girl myself, figuring out what guy is interested and when (you know, without a blunt song and dance) isn't our strong suit. We get tongue-tied and shy just like the "nice guys"/"shy guys" (the real ones, not the posers who are really players masquerading as shy guys).
I'm just now starting to see the signs. You're WAY younger than me, so I'm just going to tell you to be patient. Hang in there and you'll find "your type" -- the guy who gets your motor running just by looking/smiling at you, the guy who is equally smitten when you do the same. It really is like magic. Don't settle for less. ;)
What Guys Said 4
Yu sound lovely; I'm partial to redheads with freckles. Maybe yu've just outgrown the dating game, where you find these guys who are attracted to you only physically. And you're right about distance relationships--the majority of the time they aren't going to turn out to be worth it.
Try meeting guys organically. Get toknow people in the area by joining clubs for people withyour interests, and make sure to befriend people as often as you can to get a good repuation.
Don't get down on yourself for being tall and redheaded. Too bad you're not in China.
What Girls Said 2
You know what's funny? I'm not a good girl and I can't find a man either. And when I was good I was still single.
When guys approach you stop being shy. Just enjoy the conversation or they'll think you don't like them. Then you won't be hearing from them. Smile and be approachable.
Believe it or not it's really not based 100% on how you look. Ever hear of those guys who leave hot girls for a mediocre looking girl and they look really happy together? Looks only go for so long. It's really about how you make each other feel.
Also you have to be active when looking for a mate. I don't believe that you need to join a club, website, or go to a bar to find someone. It could be as simple as standing in the grocery store, smiling at a man you find attractive and start a conversation. Everywhere you go there's probably at least one single guy that you can talk to but you don't really think about it. I met a guy at a bus stop and I found out we have a lot of the same interests. We exchanged numbers and we're friends for now.