What do see as being baggage?

What do you consider as "baggage", that you would see in a date?

And, if you did date someone who you liked that did have baggage how much of it would you accept?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think baggage refers to anything extra that you would have to deal with that you may not want to deal with. ie: kids, exs, lots of debt, IRS debt, dysfunctional family, traumatic upbringing that they haven't emotionally dealt with.

    For example:

    I started texting & talking on the phone with a guy from a dating site. We seemed to hit it off okay over the phone. But then I learned that he's been living with the same female friend for 9 years and most of that time she didn't pay rent because she didn't have a job, nor does she drive - so basically he was carrying her financially. He swore that they were not sexual and never dated. Currently she does have a job but he drives her to & from work every day. This all did not sound like a healthy situation.

    The final blow occurred when we were on the phone one night and she was somewhere in his vicinity and out of the blue she just started yelling & cursing like crazy. She was so loud I had to hold the phone out from my ear. I was disappointed that instead of getting up and leaving the room, the guy tried talking to her about whatever she was bitching about. I later texted that no one should be subjected to that kind of ugliness. He was aware that his living situation was not a good one and wants to move out on his own but from what he said about this roomy, she is not going to make that easy for him. I decided that this kind of co-dependent relationship he was in now is NOT something I want in my life so I stopped talking to him.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think for me baggage would be someone who has kids, debt, emotional instability, family obligations, etc.

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  • Kids, emotional problems, jealous exes, high maintenance, all forms of baggage.

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  • Kids, divorce, debt, trauma in childhood, past sexual abuse, they all drive me away from a elation ship.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Depends on where I'd be in life. At 22, a guy with kids, I'd consider baggage. At 40 years, I'd say it comes with the territory.

    Anytime anyone uses the word baggage it simply means, I'm not sure I want to invest in a future with you because I am not equipped to handle this new situation. It comes down to the same rules for mate choice which is finding someone who sees things your way, likes what you have to offer and can see where they can contribute in your life. Everyone has baggage. It's all about finding someone who wants to help you carry it so if I werent married, I'd carry as much as I felt I could mentally handle.

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