I'm baffled. As far as I can tell, and I've done a lot of thinking, I'm a pretty dang normal gal. I'm consider myself fairly confident, attractive enough, fit, well educated, and kindness is a huge priority for me. I try to live my life in the best way I know how. But I keep striking out. I am really careful to seem interested but not clingy, confident but not intimidating, fun and flirty but not dull-minded. I go on lots of first dates, always get a sweet follow up text, follow their communication pace and style... but haven't been asked on a second date in a while. It's really starting to do a number on my confidence and I've started feeling social anxiety, which has been totally foreign to me in the past. I AM COMPLETELY CONFUSED and let down. I've had successful relationships in the past but its been a while now...I'm ready to find my person- the guy I jive with and... I'm starting to lose hope. Any suggestions? Advice? I'm ALL ears.
Most Helpful Guy
My take on this is that you have been hanging out with the type that is not your 'target market'. You basically offer more 'value' than the average girl, which probably also makes you harder to manipulate (you seem rather perceptive), and all that could very well be bringing up the questions in your dates' minds as to whether they can be a meaningful match to you, whether they are in your league or worse (a lot of beta males prefer women who can do their bidding and don't show too much independent thought find those harder to control as intimidating).
Your target market should actually be guys who share your visions (e.g. striving to be one's best self), as they will be the ones who will appreciate you what you have on offer. Remember, that combination of factors that you mention in your question already puts you in a different league.
There is nothing to be confused about - it just sounds to me that, until now, you have been laying the proverbial pearls before the proverbial swine.1