Why are some people so inconsiderate.

So I started seeing this guy just a few weeks back and Saturday he decided to come over to hang out and watch some DVDs. He was at my place for about an hour when he told me about some movies he had at home and suggested to go and get them and bring them back to watch. He only lives about 5 minutes away and said he would be back shortly. Well 2 hours past and he still wasn't back so I sent him a message. After another hour or so I rang because I was starting to worry. All the next day I continued to ring to see if he was okay but still did not get a response. The day after I rang about 6am from an anonymous number and he answered saying he had a change of mind about coming back over and was going to call me about it, which to me is a massive cop out. I feel really let down by his actions as I was awake for two days straight wondering if he was okay. Why do some people think this kind of behavior is appropriate? If he didn't want to come back he could have made up some excuse about not feeling well or at least have answered my calls, especially if I texted asking if he was okay about 3 times.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of people do these cop outs (actually, it is more women than men who do), because they hold onto the erroneous belief that just cutting someone out and placing them in a position where they have to read between the lines to get it spares that other person's feelings, so to say, by avoiding confrontation and being told the hard truths in his/her face. This is, of course, coupled with the self-serving belief that the copper-outer, for lack of a better word, is acting nobly by not hurting the persons.

    This is, of course, utter rubbish - there is nothing noble about just going AWOL on someone in the vain hope that he/she will 'get it'. It is actually quite childish and rather cowardly.

    Any man/woman worth his/her salt will go through the short-term unpleasanties of telling another in the face what that another may not necessarily wish to hear, for the long-term benefit of being civil, acting with honour, and doing things properly.

    So your man was, well, childish and cowardly. No sweat - I don't think you need that in your life, so good riddance.

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    • Agreed. I would expect this from perhaps really young men but when you're over 30 and still doing this it really does signify that you are not quite as grown up as you should be. I probably should have picked up on the lack of maturity beforehand from the acronym filled texts and emails and misspelling of simple words - ie "ur" instead of "your" These seem to be behavior s synonymous with teenagers and those in their early twenties not a maure minded and adult man.

    • You're spot on! And now you know how to separate the boys from the men!

    • Or mould the boys into men. I would consider it my gift to society.

What Guys Said 5

  • ...um what the hell, what kind of douche does this, he's a dumbass.

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  • you should talk to him about it. tell him firmly how this was extremely rude behavior

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    • I would but funnily enough he seems to be unavailable to chat. Think he only answered his phone because I caught him off guard.

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    • It is a hard call to make. I want him to know what he did was wrong and he should be told what he did was wrong. On the other hand I don't want him to think I am going to cry over him either. I told him what he did was really low and that I was not interested in having any more contact with him over. hopefully killed two birds with one stone.

    • I hope so with you.

  • He is a piece of garbage. Never ever let him in your life at ALL again. link

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    • Good question. I think less people are questioning morality these days, which is really very sad. It seems the barriers between right and wrong have being broken down and as a result good people are being hurt more and more and bad people are showing less and less remorse for it.

    • Agreed. Thank you

  • Forget his lame ass link

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  • Treat them mean - it keeps them keen.

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    • After been as accommodating and understanding as I have been with men this year, only to end up at the wrong end of the stick, I think I'll follow that advice :-)

What Girls Said 2

  • Unfortunately, this is becoming the norm. Actually, most of the time I've heard of guys or girls just "poofing" and you never hear from them again. Apparently ignoring people and giving bullsh*t excuses are totally acceptable now.

    Good thing he showed his colors now, I think. That way you won't be wasting any more time on him!

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  • He sounds like a turd! As much as he is an inconsiderate tool, aren't you so glad things didn't work out with him...?! I can't imagine being treated that way, especially if after having serious feelings for the guy.

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    • Hadn't got to that stage luckily. I'm more disappointed that he never came when he made out quite excitedly that he was going to. A text back to say he was fine would have been enough :( Not to leave me there wondering if something bad had happened.

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