Guys: How do I keep this from happening with out coming off as a ***** ?!

Whenever I hang out (doing non date things) with guys more than once or twice it seems that they think that we are "seeing each other" even though I have told them all that I DO NOT DATE. When this happens they get mad at me for "leading them on" even though I didn't do anything that I could see as such. How do I keep this from happening?

I had though telling them all that I don't date would help it but it doesn't! I'm losing all my friends!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, most guys are use to girls giving them mixed signals or resisting them to a degree and subsequently have adapted by being persistent in their pursuit and somewhat dismissive to some of things that women say to get rid of them, unless emphatically stated. In short, guys have learned to adjust to the women that have played games with them.

    Along with being direct, I think that you should treat your male friends, to a degree, like you treat your female friends, such as conversing with them about other guys that you find attractive or want to date, dates your going on and their opinion on the clothes that you should wear on them, etc. to avoid giving them false hope.

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    • Right. that's what guys should tell the judge when someone accuses them of rape? Well judge. You _know_ Women play games, so you know I had to adjust my female calibrater.

What Guys Said 6

  • You should probably realize that if you are losing all of your friends because of this you don't really have many friends. There are just a lot of guys that want to get with you. Being friendly can be a bit of a lead on because it's sometimes hard to distinguish between flirting and just being plain nice. Some guys, like me, are better at determining it than others and as such avoid these awkward situations and retain friendships with a large number of girls, but few guys can actually accomplish this. It's not anything that you're doing. You could flat out tell them that you will never date them ever and you just want to be friends and they might get the idea, but no promises. Just a warning, they probably will lose interest in hanging out with you after that simply because they only wanted to hang out because they thought they were going to get somewhere with you.

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  • You're not 'losing all your friends'.

    They're not real friends. They just were less clear about 'I AM INTERESTED IN DATING, NOT FRIENDSHIP'.

    TBH, nobody believes 'i do not date'. That's actually less direct then 'i'm not interested in you'. I don't date sounds like you're distanct and misunderstood but they feel like they're getting somewhere. "I'm not interested in you" people get.

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  • First of all, explain what you mean by "I don't date". Do you plan on staying single forever? To answer your question...this is easy. Simply use the word "friend" when they make plans with you, or when you're with them. The smart ones will know immediately what you're saying.

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  • You call guys who hold a grudge and leave you simply because you aren't romantically attracted to them friends?

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  • simple say this as your not currently intrested in seeing anoyne right now & make sure you inform this as a past time fun activity or a hangout...NOT AS A DATE! hope I helped.

    In short.. make your self HEARD :)

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  • I'm confused what you mean by "I do not date". Are you not interested in a romantic/sexual relationship with anyone?

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What Girls Said 2

  • if you already told them you don't date, then they know what's up and its their fault they deluded themselves. most likely they know and they are just assuming thery can bend your will.

    in any case nothing you an or ned to do. yove been honest. any guy who doesn't respect what you say doesn't deserve your friendship. so its as non issue. you have no reason to keep in touch. let therm pretend to think w/e they want.

    i mean are they learning disabled? you TOLD them you don't date. they hose to think you're lying, or pliable. that's not a friend. that's a con artist to say the least.

    id dump anyone who doesn't respect me. as friend or otherwise.

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  • Guys always think they're good enough to be the exception to the rule. You need to go up to them with a megaphone and scream it into their ear to get it across. Not literally, but guys are so thick headed that you really need to stress the idea that you are not interested in dating.

    But remember, it's not your fault. It's theirs. They shouldn't be mad at you. You told them your intentions. You should be mad at them for not listening.

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