I know this question is oh so cliche, but I want serious answers and an explanation to my situation, if you can give one.
I was dating (not relationship) and seeing a great girl for nearly 2 months. We had a few dates and hung out alot. We were affectionate with each other, and she made the first moves...the first kiss, first attempts to hold hands, etc. I almost felt like a couple. I started to develop feelings for her. I sent her flowers at work, called her such things as gorgeous, and was a perfect gentleman with her (opened doors for her, gave me my hoodie when cold, etc.
Then came a situation in which she was at my apartment drunk alone with me after drinking with friends. We talked laughed, and made out, etc. I couldve easily taken advantage of her but didn't because I didn't want to rush to sleeping with her, especially drunk. I then gave her my bed to pass out on (lol) and I took the couch.
I finally broke down and told her I cared about her and had feelings for her and that I asked her how she felt. She responded "I like you and think you're sweet." This was last week and I havent' heard from her since. She doesn't respond to texts, etc.
Obviously, she doesn't feel the same for me that I do her. My basic question: I thought I did everything perfectly. I showed her that I was in the long haul and cared for her, not just sex like many guys want. She confused me and I feel played. What hurts even more is that she made all the first moves, kissing, etc.
What type of guy do girls want? Have you given up hope on the type of guy I am? Are you looking for hookups like most guys? Do you prefer the "bad boys?" Am I going to have to change myself to find my dream girl?
Most Helpful Girl
Her actions sounds pretty dishonest; I don't think that it reflects at all on you. But to address your question, there are actually two issues: what a girl wants in a relationship, and what she wants in a man.
In this case, given that the girl is probably around your age, it's likely that she wasn't looking for romantic flamboyance, and that your well-meaning gestures, which would certainly work on many other girls, didn't appeal to her. A woman's goal for a relationship changes depending on her situation (I, for one, am pretty busy trying for a Ph.D. to exert too much emotional energy), where she is in her life, her upbringing, and her personality, and there's no one right answer. Of course, while girls our age like to pretend that we're mature, we can be incredibly juvenile, and this girl's failure to communicate her personal desires to you didn't indicate anything other that her own immaturity. Personally, I feel that overly romantic gestures put unwanted pressure on me to reciprocate, but a fair number of my friends absolutely love the flowers-and-chocolates-and-chivalry paradigm. Don't change, just choose women who share your tastes.
What women like in men varies dramatically as well. In my case, intelligence, ethics, and humor are the three biggest criteria. An intellectually ambitious, irreverent, charismatic guy with whom I can enjoy both the conversation and the sex is my ideal (especially if he has a polished Cambridge accent). He should also like seafood, science fiction, and BBC period pieces. However, regardless of specific tastes, absolutely none of the girls that you'll want to know want to be mistreated, and your sensitivity and ability to love will serve you very well. I have at least four friends who would marry you on the spot.0