He won't take me to his date party.. deal-breaker or no biggie?

I have a long history with the guy I'm seeing right now. We dated seriously for a year and a half and have maintained a friendship since we broke up seven months ago. Within the past two weeks, we started seeing each other romantically and have spent a TON of time together.

However, he has a fraternity date formal and, since some of his friends don't like me since we broke up, he decided to take someone else. Although he says he won't hook up with her, he doesn't know her well, and I think there's a lot of potential for things to go wrong as he's been promiscuous in the recent past. The party is tomorrow, so it's too late to uninvite her, but he invited her just yesterday, knowing that I was unhappy with it and felt like it was a big "f you" to me. Explaining how I feel has done no good, and I don't want to be controlling...

Basically, I want to know what this means from a guy's prospective and how other girls would handle this situation. Thank ya!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Why don't his friends like you? Are they nice guys or twats?

    He only asked this girl yesterday, omg, and she knows about you? She doesn't? Oh right, then you need to tell her. Tell her that you were together, tell her you've spent loads of time with him over the past couple of weeks. See if she is aware of this. She might ditch him.

    Do you really want a guy who is messing you about? Sounds like that is what you've got.

    To call his bluff why not invite him round to yours straight after the event? If he says he will "be busy" then you know the score. Half the world is guys baby, pick a better one!


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What Guys Said 2

  • Deal Breaker on every level. If he is ashamed to take you, then why continue a relationship with someone like that.?

    Yes the is a BIG F You to you!

    He is noting his friends he is dating you. Next time he calls you. Tell him you Only date men that can make choices for themselves.

    Cut him lose and call it quits!

    If he cares that much about protecting you, he should not go! Simple.

  • Tough spot for a guy to be in. He might be trying to protect you from an awkward situation, might be trying to protect himself, or he might not care about either one. It's really hard to say.

    I guess for now, take his word for it. If he says he won't hook up with her, and then does, then that's the deal-breaker.

    Sticky situation for everyone involved it sounds like, especially if you had a bad breakup before.


What Girls Said 3

  • I was in a sorority and dated a fraternity brother...and this would be a deal breaker for me. I know what goes on at these events. Him deciding to take her and not you says a lot about him. He cares more about what his friends think that he does about you, and he's also hoping to have his cake and eat it too. Date you again, but take new girls to show off and potentially hook up with since you probably won't find out. Everyone at least makes out at these things. You believe he won't do that to you? He's proven to be promiscuous, and clearly isn't taking your relationship seriously enough to bring you over some girl he barely knows. The jealousy and wonder would eat me alive, regardless if something happened or not.

    He knew this would hurt your feelings, he did it anyway. Can you imagine if you took a guy instead of him to a formal after having been promiscuous in the recent past? He'd end your relationship.

    • FYI, there was also a 3rd and 4th option in this scenario if it really would've been SO awkward with his friends. He could've chosen to go alone or not go at all. Of the 4 options, he chose the one most damaging to your recovering relationship.

    • I'll agree with that. Alone or not at all would have been better, if it really was something that you made very clear that it bothered you.

  • Hi! Im new to this website and was trying to see how recent this was and what you did! Im in a similar dilemma rn!

  • I think this should be a deal breaker. If he has a problem taking you because his friends don't like you then he probably won't ever want to take you anywhere if his friends are around.