Is this much-older guy interested in dating me?

A guy who's a well-educated (PhD) professor at a nearby college was visiting my campus recently and I bumped into him in the library. We made small talk, and as I was in a hurry to get to class, he gave me his number. We got in contact later and met for coffee. He said that he has a 5-year old child with his x-gf and he seemed chill when I was talking about my boyfriend back home in my country (I've broken up with him, but didn't tell him that). He said that he would invite me over sometime soon for lunch as he'd like to have me try his Italian food. The problem is that I'm 24 and he's around 40. Is he interested in being friends as he shows it, or something more? I don't really want to date him, so how can I politely let him know?


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What Guys Said 1

  • This unashamed dirty old (40) man says the guy is probably hoping you'll sleep with him.

    That said, if he's a half way decent human being he'll take no at face value and friend zone himself as long as you're clear that you're not interested. Before you do that though, just remember some of us old farts have been practicing all this time. :-)

    It works both ways too. I lost my virginity to a woman 16 years older than me. GOD that was fun, not to mention educational.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think he's trying to pick you up. Professors are notorious for sleeping with students, because some girls are into their prestige. When he invites you over, just say, "That seems kind of intimate to me. I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression, but I'm not interested in dating or anything like that."

    He'll probably feed you a line about how he's only looking for friendship and likely make you feel guilty and immature. This is standard fare for some guys ... because they can guilt some girls into sleeping with them. By the nature of how strong he's coming onto you, even after hearing you have a boyfriend ...he seems like this type. Blow it off. I once had a guy who was 32 try to me make me feel guilty that I didn't want fo fool around with him when he was married and I was barely 18 years old. What I'm saying is just because someone says something doesn't mean it's valid.

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    • Oh wow sucks that this guy tried to do this to you.

      Yeah, I think I'll just say something along those lines, about how I'd just prefer to meet him for coffee somewhere or something. I mean he genuinely seems like a nice guy, but you never know...

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