Anyone here in their mid to late 20's who has never been on a date? Or had a full time job?

I have never been on a date or held a full time job yet and I have lost most of my friends. I have kind of made new friends but I rarely see them, or speak to them. I feel like I have social anxiety. And this makes me scared to move on. Firstly because the only people I have really ever been accepted by work at my current part time job. I don't really have many friends and it is very hard to make any at my age (26 on December 31). I have never been a popular person to be around. I also tjink that my social anxiety makes it hard for me to communicate and intereact with other people. Is there anyone who feels the same way? I have been so alone the past few years and been very dwpeessed because I have been missing out on life. I used to fwwl scared to go out in public by myself, I would still do it to a point, but not for anything fun. Withing the last year or so I have staryed to go to concerts by myself and fairly recently going to bars and moviesby myself. Not that I enjoy that, I'm just trying to het out of the house and out of my head. I just want to live a normal life, get an enjoyable job with decent pay, meet a great girl that I'm attracted to and have a gamily and live in a decent home. Why can't I find this? Anyone else feel this way

Updates:
Also ot is terribly hard for me to see everyone else living a successful life and not being able to myself. I don't have the means to live on my own... I know that and besides if I ever live alone I know that I will have no one to talk to. I feel like I need to have my parents around...not to take careof me, but to be in company

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've had social anxiety and still have to some extent.

    That's the main problem for you, I think. If you can get a handle on that then you can start to live the life you want.

    I know it's hard to work on getting rid of social anxiety but imagine that if you spend one year of 100% dedication to get rid off or at least get your social anxiety into a controllable level then you'd be 27. That's really no age. Then you'd have plenty of time for dating and living the life you want to.

    Start with small steps. Every journey start with one small step. But the first is usually the hardest.

    Don't give up now and already start to imagine a life alone. Life is short but it's also very very long when we don't live the life we want to live.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Oh man, I have been there. For about three years of my life I felt my existence had no meaning. I was not your age but that does not really matter.

    It is a vicious circle, you know. You have to love yourself first to be loved. You have to think you are funny so others may think so too. Etc etc

    I say you try to contact your friends, keep in touch with them more. I call it a shock therapy. It worked with me. More people I talked to, the more comfortable I felt. I used to have issues saying hello to people, now I am perfectly capable of talking (and flirting) with guys I met two seconds ago. So let your friends introduce you to other people. Go out with them. If it makes you loose up a bit, have a drink (but do not get drunk!) before you go hang out with someone. But do not expect miracles. If you really suffer from social anxiety it is not going to be all success at first. You will feel nervous, like you want to throw up, like you do not want to go anywhere. Fight it! Or better said "Fake it till you make it." Pretend you are having fun. Think like whatever you are going to say is going to be funny and interesting. Talk and walk with confidence even if you feel like crap on the inside. Sooner or later it will become true. You just have to get through this awful period.

    Do not wait with this. You are still young, but you are not going to be young forever and then you will hate yourself for not enjoying life when you could.

    If you need more money, just go and get a full time job. It was hard for me to let go of my parents as well, but you have to do it. Think of all the things you would like to have in life and do what you have to, to get them.

    I hope this helped a bit. Good luck, man. It gets better.

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  • I think the first step is to build your confidence - you are who you are, anyone who doesn't accept that is not worth your time. OK?

    Also, confidence is sexy :)

    Answer my question please? link

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  • Dude I'm sorry but you need to get over it. The only thing standing in the way of the life you want fir yourself is you. Go out and do something start going to the gym or take an art class. It will be difficult but you will eventually overcome it. Its like nike. Just do it.

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  • *raises hand* Never been on a date

    Btw the best ways to meet friends are through college and work but there are other ways to meet people I'm sure. I'm with you though, it is very hard to move on and meet new people. Me, I'm 21.

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  • That happened a long time agoo

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  • Im exactly like this. I feel so lame.

    Im in college but it seems to be taking forever. I haven't made any new friends. I only kept in contact with one friend from high school. I think I have social anxiety too. Its so difficult to talk to people. And I don't even go out,.only to school and work. I'm 20 and I'm going to be 21 in June. I too only work part time. And I've never had a boyfriend. I'm a nice person but I just haven't found a guy worth my time. And I live with my parents. I feel like my life is going nowhere. I hate this feeling.

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    • Tonight is Saturday night... and I helped my mother make banana cake... she let me put in chocolate chips in one side pf the cake. :-\ :-/ :-* :-)

What Guys Said 7

  • 24 and been on one date that went nowhere. Career-wise I'm fine, but when it comes to girls I'm shy and unsure of wanting a relationship.

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  • I'm kind of the same but it's more my own fault. I have a hard time trusting people and therefor I choose to spend most of my time alone.

    However, there now is this girl I tend to hang out with but my biggest problem is that I don't know how what her feelings are for me. I'm afraid that I might ruin this friendship when I ask her out.

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  • all I can say is

    BL SON

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  • this might sound dumb.

    but go to bars and get used to talking to people. you ll get better.

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  • read the title.. didn't read thread. get your sh*t together brah

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  • yeah pretty similar situation here. I feel weird going out alone to bars or movies because I don't feel like there is any reason for someone to be interested in me. I used to have friends or at least people I would hang out with and have fun with...actually was a server so I was able to try to be more sociable. about a year ago I started to get really depressed and basically stopped talking to anyone other than one girl that was my best friend. now I don't talk to her anymore but I'm hanging out with a guy that I've known for a long time who is in my class.

    ive been told that I'm nice and look fine (even good) but I have always been very shy and quiet until I get to know someone...so most people think I don't like them or that I have something wrong. I've always felt awkward about asking people for their number or if they would like to hang out. I've had a girlfriend but she was the one who took charge as far as dating went.

    last year I failed my last college class and am barely passing it right now as I live at home and commute 3x a week. so I don't go out because I'm embarrassed about my situation. I'm hoping that I can get this class over and get a job but its not looking too great. I want to get away from home and be my own person again since I can't be myself around my parents. I'm probably going to need a 'full time' job plus another part time job to try to make enough money.

    so yeah you aren't alone in how you feel. hopefully things will get better for you. I think if you are able to get a full time job you will feel better. I know I had an internship over the summer I felt better about things...i was doing something with my time and felt like I had some self value. it took me several months and a lot of applications to just get a job so keep trying and look for things that you enjoy.

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    • jessjess actually has some good advice. get your confidence up and "be the champ" "be the man" exude confidence and it will help your life...it did for me when I was younger and 1st moved away for college. now I'm kinda in a bad cycle of ups&downs but I have a goal and I'm doing better.

  • I feel the same way, and it's not a good feeling. Everybody says it's me, but I can't force a girl to talk to me. They get to choose, and none of them has ever chose me. So I live my life alone. It's OK though, because I have a lot going for myself and I have good moral and good intentions, and even though those girls exclude me from the normal guys, they can never take that from me!

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