Do people normally interview people when they first start dating??

I've been dating around lately... and I've found that every guy has like.. an interview session: "what kind of guy are you looking for," "what qualities do you like," "what are some of your deal breakers?" etc. Is that normal for first and second dates? I mean, I feel like they cram all of the get to know you questions into the first couple dates and then we just kind of go from there?

Is that how dating normally goes? I mean, I guess it's important to establish what you want and are looking for, but so quickly, in one date? Idk... how should things go?


0|0
34

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, it's normal and they;re not actually trying to learn it all at once. Most people don't truly listen to the answers, it's the way you answer and react that they want to see. This is actually a good thing. They want to make sure you have compatibility before getting emotionally evolved.

    1|0
    0|0
    • haha yeah, that's true... although the last time I dated someone and we did this we agreed on like everything and we were totally compatible and then... 3 weeks later... no chemistry haha. so idk!

    • Show All
    • Thank you! Feel free to add me and tell me how it goes later down the line :)

    • hahaha I sent you a friend request. hopefully I don't forget to tell you!

Sponsored

Have an opinion?

0/2500

Send It!

What Guys Said 4

  • This is what men learned from all the women nagging that men talk too much about themselves at dates. God forbid that a man would say something about himself when the girl is sitting their silent as a fish. No. The whole night should be about her. So what to do? Keep asking her questions about her. Just look at all these "first date advice for men" entries on the internet, magazines and what not. It is guaranteed that "Make the night about her, do not talk much about yourself, make her feel you are interested in her by asking her about her life" will be there.

    The next date I am going to, I will stay as quiet as the grave and force her to ask me questions and then come moan about it on the internet. Just for the heck of it.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Imo, yes, this is normal. It's simply a way to know that you want the same thing as the other person.

    Airing this out in the first three dates, is A LOT better than dating for many weeks or months, THEN finding out you're incompatible and realizing you wasted your time on this person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sort of, I think, unless you already know the person somewhat. The whole point of the first and second dates are to see if a third date is worth it.

    0|0
    0|0
    • hm yeah. random stranger you hit it off with at a coffee shop? maybe the interview thing is necessary for that

  • no; but I have seen stranger! I haven't dated in a while, but I never interviewed a lady. Maybe you are "prime real estate" (complement intended!)! and they all are taken aback by how desirable you are-and want to be "your ideal man"; maybe you have had a run of "pragmatic" men who want to cut to the point.

    I am with you; see if you connect, there will be enough time for the third degree to unfold without it being awkward!

    0|0
    0|0
    • oh, I think these are definitely pragmatic men. the last guy I dated... we did the whole interview thing and he wanted a wife... and kids... and he's 22! I mean, good for him wanting to settle down so soon, but I can't say I was on that same level. shoot, that's awkward, why do I keep finding these guys?

What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, Yes, and Yes. I feel the very same way! And I hate it! There is noway the date is comfortable if you feel like you are being interviewed.

    I feel you- but I think the way to get around that is to plan a fun activity- it's hard to interview someone when you are bowling or at six flags!

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think many people do that. it is normal. I do want to find out a certain amount by the 2nd or 3rd date, for sure.

    0|0
    0|0
    • huh yeah, I guess that's true. might as well not just dwindle around the questions.

Loading...