She left me to be on her own and for space, do I try to text her or let her come to me?

My girlfriend of a year and a half left me because she wanted to be on her own, things weren't bad in fact they were good which is why this has been so incredibly hard on me. She's receiving comfort from another guy and because its not me its hurts worse that I'm out of the picture and she keeps going to him and everyone tells me she only views him as a good friend and nothing more, but he admitted straight to her the other day he liked her and she continues to go to him. I trust her judgement but I am so confused and initially she said that it definitely wasn't goodbye but she needed to be on her own for a while. This whole thing has been torcher for me and I'm hurting so bad, it's been 6 days since we've spoken. Should I try to talk to her to get some closure and move on, because all this is killing me inside and it's sucking the life out of me I don't know what else to do.. Or do I let her eventually try and talk to me? I heard ignoring her and showing that I'm OK without her will drive her crazy and shell start to wonder about me.. But it hurts so bad not to know the complete truth. I want to play things the right way so I don't lose her forever


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry to hear that, it can't be easy for you. I feel like you should just let her be for a while since she did ask for some space. But it's almost as if she knows you will always be there for her just waiting. Like a book on a shelf. Which isn't fair on your part. What you said about ignoring her and starting to do your own thing...that actually will work. Some people don't agree with it, but it might make you feel better and once she wants to see that you're doing good without her she will want you back. It doesn't really seem like you ended things on a bad note either so if she doesn't contact you, in a couple weeks you need to get what you deserve. Stay strong!

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    • Thankyou, she's a great girl with an even better heart I truly love her and would hate this to be the end but she is only 18 so I can't blame her for wanting to figure things out for herself to know what she wants. I know she loves me and everybody else knows we're both hurting from this. I wish things weren't this way but I have to trust her to learn from her own mistakes being the person I've always known. I miss everything about her <\3 :(

    • Hmm well then this is kind of odd, I don't exactly know her reasoning from this then since she still does love you. Maybe it was getting really serious and she was just getting scared and needs to figure things out for herself. From what you said I'm sure it won't be too long before you two are back together again! :) I wish you both the best of luck.

What Girls Said 17

  • I know it may be hard but I'd really just let her have her space. I feel like that towards my boyfriend right now we're alright and all he's a sweet guy but I'm young and really need to find myself and I am not sure I'm ready for marriage I'm only 20.

    i know it hurts but if it's meant to be I'm sure she'll come back but for now just give her space or be a good friend to her and worry about yourself for now.

    ik she means so much to you but your so young too keep working on bettering yourself making yourself a better man and be the best you you can be. If you need your own place, car, and better job work on that. Finish school do whatever to be a you your happy with and focus on yourself for now. Let her know you'll always be there for her but at some point you'll grow to appreciate yourself and cope as well. Its just this way because we are young and need to find ourselves and be independent and see what else life has to offer.

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  • Don't text her. When she says she needed space I'm sure she meant it you texting her is just going to push her further away. If it's hurting you so bad and you can't do it anymore then it's something you need to take the risk on if it's only been a week give her at least two weeks but then tell her you can't do it. I

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  • I'd say let her be. She's most likely mulling things over, and you texting her a lot would make her run away.

    If you do text her, send just one that says you are worried about her, saying nothing about your future together. "Hope you're doing OK, know that I am here for you if you need me", or something like that.

    This makes me think of the song "Austin" link which is basically about a guy who gives his girlfriend the space she needs (for a ridiculously long time), but she came back and was amazed with the patience and love he showed for her. Which, in my opinion, is what most girls would want. You to trust them with patience and love.

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  • This is actually happening to me and my ex. I broke up with him a month ago because I didn't want to be with him anymore. I told him I wanted to still be friendly to each other, and not act like strangers. But he was just very hurt by this. He also got really upset when he found out I started hanging out with guy friends again. (I have known them longer than I knew him though, and I only stopped talking to them because he didn't like them.)

    My ex keeps texting me. Eventually I just said "there is no chance for us, you are not respecting the space I need from you." We have had several fights about it. He can't deal with his grief and he keeps contacting me. It is honestly pissing me off.

    My story is probably different in the sense that he treated me like SHIT and made my life very hard. But regardless, if someone ends things with you, don't chase them down. Let them have the space they are asking for.

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  • I'm really sorry your hurting :( if uour relationship was good and she is just taking time for herself why does she need some guy to comfort her? I'm sorry but I'm going to be blunt. It sounds like she isn't ready to be in a serious relationship, she might be taking this time to mess around and not feel bad about it. I could be wrong but that's what a couple people I've known have done. Take time to do your own thing. Let her come to you, your last part wa spot on, make her wonder and miss you.

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  • maybe she doent have feelings for you any longer? my advice would be to try to move on. you'll never gain anything from saying what you need to say. I would talk to her and ask point blank if it's over, and that's all you need to know. if she comes back int he future, great. if not, she's missing out on a great guy.

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  • aww I'm sorry.. going through this kind of stuff sucks. If I were the girl, I'd want the guy to come to me, because ignoring it just makes it hurt even more. Don't overwhelm her but just try and talk to her. She should be lucky she found someone that cares about her that much, then again she's pretty young so she's gonna make stupid mistakes. hopefully things will get better, and if she doesn't come back its her loss, not yours, even if you feel like it is.

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  • There is no easy answer here. Usually we only can appreciate someone when they are not with us anymore. So, I would suggest that you give your girlfriend the space she asked for and don't try to contact her at least for two weeks. She is probably confused at the moment, so let her figure out things on her own. And after a while, if she won't contact you, then call her and ask how much more time does she need, as you can't wait forever. Let her understand that she can lose you, this could speed things up.

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  • Well, to me, I hate being tortured like that, I have a certain limit where I can handle it even though am hurt, then I go all crazy. In my previous experiences I'd just text him to see what's up and where it is going cause I like things be cleared up and if the answer is going to hurt at least I will know what I'm hurting about. I say wait but don't hurt yourself too much, when you feel ready, text her or talk to her and see where it's going.

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  • She wants to see what else is out there. - She knows there are better guys out there.

    Nothing is wrong with contacting her again for closure but you need to start detaching yourself.

    It's hard to understand why you're still holding on when she's holding on to someone else.

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  • Give her space...An I know its hard to not worry or think about it. But try to keep yourself busy. I think its something she just to do this for her, it could be a internal thing for her; I don't think its you, its a her thing. Just give her time and if or when she's ready to tell you then she will. Just work on you right now and try to get your mind off of it. I hope I help some...Good Luck with your situation..ok

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  • I say move on. I know it's hard throwing a years worth of a relationship down the drain but she chose this path not you. The fact that she's leaving you hanging with no answers in where you both stand is f***ed up on her part. Do whatever feels right, but I personally think if she wants you back, she'll come back to you.

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  • what you just said

    tell her that

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  • That is sad, I'm not sure about this closure thing. There were times when I wanted closure but never got it so...this may just be one of those bummer situations.

    Sometimes people don't know what the heck they want. I personally often feel like I don't know how to organize my whole life together...bits and pieces of stuff and people and jobs and places...Life is a puzzle.. so maybe she is just trying to figure that all out.

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    • By the way you are a decent looking guy. Like the chest tattoo. I mean if I was 19 years old I would do you!

      You are not going to end up alone. Guaranteed.

    • Show All
    • Lol Thankyou

    • Welcome, Just saying, it will all work out somehow.

  • She's seeing another guy? Then why aren't you seeing other girls? I wouldn't feel guily, she's doing it. You don't need to be on a string in case these relationships don't work out for her. Never do that. No one should. You're too young to be this misrable. Well, not that any age is a good time to be misrable, but go out, have fun. Maybe that'll make her think she could lose you, and want 'you' back. If not, than she wasn't going to come back anyway. Then you'll be saying, 'good thing I was out having fun, and not sitting around misrable for nothing.

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    • When you said, "Things weren't bad, in fact they were good" Trust me when things are good, no one leaves. Good for you, obviously not for her. And what's this comfort? Nobody needs comfort from another person if they love someone else, that they could have.

  • Do your best to move on.

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  • You need to confront her in a calm, unemotional manner (though I know that's hard). She says she "wants to be on her own" but isn't giving you much to go on. It's not fair to you to sit on the fence wondering whether she's moved on or just taking a break. Talk to her about it. Ask her whether she sees you getting back together or if she "needs space" simply to break away from you. It's not fair of her to leave you hanging, and if she respects you, you deserve to know one way or another.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Let her come to you man. If she wants to talk, she'll contact you. There's really nothing you could do to change her mind...its all up to her. She lied to you. As far as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship goes...its goodbye forever. In this case igoring her will not drive her crazy. Instead she will like it. She's out of the picture for good. The sooner you realize this...the sooner you can begin to recover.

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  • have your own adventures bro if a chick ever gives space is not respectful to you that she just jump boat with another guy if it was me bro I would just get out of it cause for me if you do something once your doom to repeat how do you know this will be the only break how do you know she won't want another when she finds another guy...? but its just my experience you can take it how you want

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  • I understand how you feel man, it sucks. Here's the thing, more then likely she likes the new guy now and there is nothing you can do to get her back. Quite frankly you should with how she is treating you right now. If you want to get her back start dating other girls, tell her that you have been talking to someone new and you think that you want to pursue things with her, this will drive her crazy.

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  • I feel your pain, man. You need to take a breather before you text her..

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  • Let her be. If she misses you then she will call, text or come to you. If you contact her it will not give you any time to let her miss you. Also being aloof and a bit mysterious helps over all. Go out and have fun and do not think about stuff too much. Your happiness is in your hands and nobody else's.

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  • Honestly the best thing you can do here is give her time to think about it and miss you. Just start doing things you like to do and focus on yourself for a while. If she doesn't come back then you just have to let her go, even though it hurts, that's the best thing you can do right now.

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